


Fate and Hope

by Saber007



Category: Terminator (Movies), Terminator - All Media Types, Terminator Genisys (2015), Terminator Salvation (2009)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-07-11 12:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7051924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saber007/pseuds/Saber007
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They destroyed Skynet and the timeline had been forever altered. This was their chance at having a normal life. They were going to be the family they never could in all their past lives. (Terminator Genisys timeline).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What if I Can't?

**Author's Note:**

> After watching Terminator Genisys I fell in love with the family dynamic of Sarah, Kyle, and John. This is dedicated to the idea of them living the ideal life as a family.

It was finally over.

The war with Skynet was finally over. The dream that John and I wished for had finally happened. There would be no more deaths, no more tears, and no more pain. This all seemed so unreal, especially since John…

No, I couldn't think about that.

It still tore me up knowing I couldn't save him. I couldn't even save my own son…no don't think.

Right now, the three of us were driving off into the sunset with no goal in mind after giving my younger self an important message. I didn't think anything like this would have been possible.

Pops was in the driver's seat repeatedly looking back at Sarah and me in the rearview mirror. It was really creepy, but Sarah told me to ignore Pops, he was just being his usual paranoid self. Sitting in the back of the car with the woman I had been in love with for as long as I could remember, I couldn't help but think that for once in my life I could actually believe in the idea of hope.

"Kyle? What're you thinking so hard about?" Sarah gazed at me with her dark blue eyes.

Before, when I looked into her eyes all I could see looking back was hostility and suspicion, but she had softened up to me now.

"About how crazy everything became in a span of days. I mean, it feels like just yesterday I was fighting side by side with John, only ever wondering if I'd make it through the day. But now, I'm here with you and…well I'm not sure where to go from here."

Sarah sent me a small smile.

"Funny, just a while ago it was me saying all this. 'What if I can't?' That's all I could think of when I finally realized that for the first time in my life, I had a choice. That the future isn't set in stone. And like you said Kyle, we'll figure it out together."

A strand of her red-brown hair had fallen into her face while she was talking and I didn't even realize I had moved it out of her face. Sarah stopped talking and stared into my eyes.

Dark blue met light blue.

I was mesmerized by her.

All those times I found myself staring at that worn picture of her didn't even compare to how beautiful she was in person. Sarah looked so delicate and fragile, but she was as tough as the steel metal of the terminators. She didn't let anything or anyone put her down, she stood her ground and faced her enemies with courage and determination. A born soldier, but she could also be compassionate.

Pops, who was naturally supposed to be her enemy was instead treated like a second father by her and even more surprising was her tolerance for me. All her life Sarah had been told that I would be the man she fell in love with and instead of hating me for robbing her of the chance of finding a man she loves, she accepted me, albeit with a little reluctance.

My reverence of Sarah Connor was disrupted by her ever socially awkward guardian.

"You two have become less hostile with each other. Have you two already begun the process of mating?" The stone faced terminator asked the question like he was asking for the time of day.

"Oh my god! I told you to never use that word ever again!" Sarah came out of her daze and pulled away from me in a huff. Her face had turned a few shades redder.

"Yeah, we need to work on his social skills. He really knows how to kill the mood." I scooted over to the car door and rolled down the window.

Looking at Pop's face in the rearview mirror I could see his mouth twitching. Was he trying to smile? I swear, for a terminator, Pops had his moments were I'd actually believe he was Sarah's father.

"Negative responses are unnecessary, Sarah Connor. It is already known that mating from you and Kyle Reese will result in John Connor, the savior of the human race." Pops continued to drone on in that mechanical monotone of his.

I wanted to jump out the car.

This was the most awkward conversation ever. A machine was telling me to sleep with Sarah just so we could make the savior of the human race. Man! And to think Sarah's been hearing this for years, no wonder she couldn't stand me at first.

"Will just stop saying that, Pops! I don't need you telling me to go get knocked up all right, that's not my goal in life. What do we even need John for now that Skynet and Genisys are both gone? How can John be a savior if there's nothing to save us from?" I popped my head back in from the window after hearing that.

Sarah was right. With the threat of Skynet gone, there really wasn't any reason for John's birth. That thought depressed me. Was John's whole purpose in life only to fight and be surrounded by war and death? He deserved more than that, especially after everything he did and sacrificed for the world.

"With the timeline disrupted, I am unable to determine what role John Connor will play in the future. That role will now be determined by Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese." Pop's may have looked like his usual serious self, but I could tell that the idea of an uncertain future unnerved him, but it gave me hope.

"Don't you see Sarah? This could be a chance for us."

"What?" Sarah whipped around to look at me.

"It's like what John said or that terminator said…we've become exiles of time. Sarah, this could be a chance for all of us to actually be a family. " I took ahold of Sarah's hand. "You, me, and John...and Pops too, I guess. I'm alive and our son doesn't have to fight some war. He could grow up like a normal child with two parents who love him." I found myself tracing a line on her hand again, just like she taught me. "We just go in a straight line and don't look back."

Sarah didn't say anything but I could see it in her eyes, that brief flicker of loneliness that sometimes came through. I knew that no matter how much she actually protested about having John, deep down she actually wanted him more than anything.

I could give her that now. Our future was ours to write.

* * *

"Kyle, stop standing there and help me, would you?" Sarah was in the kitchen attempting to cook stew.

The three of us had decided to return to the cabin that her parents used to own and rebuild it. It had taken some time, but we managed to make it into a suitable home. It really helped that we had a hulking machine with monstrous strength to help us out. At first I wasn't sure that coming here was such a good idea since it had bad memories for Sarah, but she insisted on it.

_"I grew up here and I can't think of any other place I'd rather live."_

I should have expected her to say something like that. She was no princess, she was a soldier.

Walking into the kitchen, I saw Sarah standing over the stove in a pair of simple jeans and tank top. Sometimes it was odd for me to see in her in such normal clothes. I was so used to seeing the fierce Sarah Connor in leather and combat gear, ready to kill. Anytime I saw her looking like your average girl I got swept away in how normal everything had become.

I was pulled back to Earth by Sarah telling me to cut up the potatoes for her.

"You want me to cut potatoes? You should just asked Pops, he'd have this done in seconds." I started slowly cutting the potatoes up.

"Oh yeah, if I want my table cut up alongside my potatoes I know just who to ask. Be a man and just cut the potatoes and don't get blood on the food this time." I chuckled at Sarah's sarcastic reply.

Some time ago, Sarah had asked Pops to help cut potatoes thinking that it would be faster for the machine to do it since he had been upgraded by that liquid metal and could turn his arms into razor-sharp blades. However, that blade proved to be too sharp and Pops didn't exactly know how to restrain himself, so he ended up cutting the table in two.

That was a hilarious moment I wished I could have gotten on camera.

"You know, you could at least be a little more concerned about the man your supposed to be in love with and not some potatoes. It wasn't my fault Pops startled me and made me slice my finger." I was still joking around with her.

Sarah and I developed more of a relationship now that we didn't have to worry about being killed every second. I almost wanted to say it was like we were an old married couple with an annoying father-in-law.

"Well, the man I love should try being a little more useful. You're not a soldier anymore. You're a …well, I really don't know what to call us. Boyfriend and girlfriend just sounds so stupid and I can't call you the father of my child either. That hasn't happened yet." Sarah stopped cooking to sit down at the table. I stopped cutting and looked at Sarah in surprise.

"You said yet! Usually you're so against talking about...the events that lead to his birth." I'm a little flustered to be having this conversation with Sarah.

While I knew that John was our son, it was still a bit embarrassing to think that I would have that kind of intimate relationship with Sarah. I never imagined I'd meet the woman I admired and loved and that she'd love me back.

"I know it seems like I don't want John from the way I talk and act, but that's not it. It's just that my whole life, Pops was always telling me how important my son was going to be and it just felt like my only purpose was to give birth to this legendary man and then fade away. I felt like I didn't matter. But after I actually met John, or at least had a glimpse of what he was like…I knew I was wrong." Sarah's eyes misted over with tears. "John..is my son, my boy. My amazing boy and I raised him to be that way. When he was in the hospital talking to us, my heart was just overwhelmed with emotions. I just couldn't believe I had created something so wonderful. It took some time for me to accept it, but having John doesn't seem so terrible now."

While Sarah was talking I had come over and sat with her at the table and at some point she had grabbed my hand. I softly stroking her hand as she wiped at her eyes. Hearing her talk about John and calling him hers made me smile in pure joy.

I wanted John back in my life.

I had grown up with him for half my life and it just seemed so empty without him. Especially now, since I knew that he was my son. Even though I wanted to have John, I never pressed the issue on Sarah. I told her that she had a choice now and I meant that. If she didn't want to have John then I'd accept that, though I'd be shattered. And if she ever wanted to leave me and have a normal life with someone else then I'd let her, even at the cost of it breaking my heart. That's how much I loved her.

"Sarah, having John means the world to me and despite Pops constant pressuring, I'd never, ever, force you. I don't want to have John because it's been decided by fate, I want to have John with you because I love you and I love him." My face started heating up and I was starting to get nervous, but I had to get this out. I'd been waiting awhile and now seemed like the perfect time. "Sarah Connor, I have loved you since the day John first told me about you. I fell in love with your strength and courage that you held onto in those dark days when it felt like it would never get better and the amazing love and compassion you showed to your son that carried over from him to me. I was in love with the idea of you that John implanted in my head, but then I fell in love with you all over again when I met you. From the moment you came crashing into that store I was yours."

I stood up from the chair and reached into my pocket, pulling out a ring and knelt before Sarah. Her eyes had gone completely wide and she had the most shocked expression on her face.

"Sarah Connor, would you give this lowly man from the future, who's actually only twelve in this timeline, the honor of having you as his wife?" As I kneeled before her, Sarah reached out caressing my cheeks and smiled the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen on a woman.

In this moment she looked like an angel to me. Her hair was loose and flowing around her face in waves. I could see where John got his curly brown hair from. Her blue eyes shined with a bit of gold in them from the light from the window. Sarah leaned forward and kissed me softly and then again and again until I was breathless. The kisses then continued all over my face and even onto to my sandy blonde hair. Sarah was trying cover every inch of my face with ticklish kisses.

"Hey, I love the display affection from you, but you still haven't answered my question." I reluctantly pulled her back from my lips, but she kept a firm grasp on my cheeks.

"You stupid soldier, I've already given you my answer. I said yes to you the day I learned about Kyle Reese when I was nine and then again when I met you in 1984 and even now my answer remains the same. I have and will always love you too, no matter how time keeps us apart. Now hurry up and put that ring on my finger, Kyle Reese." Sarah let go of me and expectantly held out her hand.

I delicately put the metal band on her finger. She gave me another sweet kiss after admiring the ring on her finger. If she kept kissing me like this I was going to faint from dizziness. I must have spoken that out loud because Sarah laughed at me.

"How did I ever think falling in love with you was a bad thing? Where did you even get this ring, Kyle? It looks and feels familiar." Sarah pushed some of hair behind her ear and examined the ring. She was always brushing her hair back now after I insisted on her leaving it down.

"Well, Pops made it for me if you can believe it. The ring's made out of some of his liquid metal. I thought you would like that since you'd always have a piece of Pops with you. As for me I think it's a little creepy that I'll have something of him on my finger for the rest of my life." I pulled out the other ring that was for me and showed Sarah that her name was engraved into my ring. "My name's engraved in your ring too, but if you don't like that I can ask Pops to make another." My nervous rambling was cut off.

"This is the greatest gift you could have given me, besides John and a big, warm house with a nice malamute with white fur. Or you could go above and beyond, crossing the galaxies to bring me three dragons." Sarah joked.

"Where in the world did you come up with dragons?" I scrunched up my face.

"Hmm, from some book I read in my spare time. I don't remember what it's called but there was this one character I idolize, Dany is all I can remember. She reminds me of myself. Except I don't have silver blonde hair and violet eyes, but I think I'd look exotic with those looks right, Kyle?"

"Yeah, I can see that coloring working for you, but I like the way you are now. As for the big, warm house and dog I can definitely work towards that. As for John, that'll take the two of us." I started playing with some of Sarah's reddish hair and kissed the curling strand in my hand while I deviously looked at her. She just smirked at me and swatted my hand away.

"I don't think so. You have to say I do first, Reese." Sarah stood up and went back to the stove to continue cooking.

I remained sitting, watching my future wife cook dinner for our odd family.

"You're going to become Mrs. Sarah Reese." For some reason that didn't sound right to me and Sarah agreed. "Never mind. I think it's better if you keep your maiden name. Sarah Reese and John Reese just doesn't roll off the tongue."

At that particular moment Pops entered the kitchen with a bag full of baby supplies. Sarah flipped when she saw the bag.

"Are you kidding me, Pops?! We just decided to get married, John's not just gonna pop out anytime soon!" Sarah walked over to check the contents of the bag.

"John Connor's birth is assured now that you two have decided to have a conjugal relationship and so it is only a matter of time before you two mate. So I have procured the necessary items for him. Among some other things the attendant suggested." Pops pulled out a wrapped package and and handed it to Sarah. Curious, I stood behind her while she opened it.

Inside were a pair of bright pink lingerie.

"You've got to be joking me. My android guardian bought me a pair risky underwear and a ton of baby supplies. Would you stop laughing already!" Sarah punched me hard in the arm, but I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

It was just too funny.

A terminator went to the store and bought underwear. It was just too much for me. I fell to the floor from my laughing fit while Sarah fell into the chair from mortification.

"I do not understand why Kyle Reese is behaving in this manner. I simply procured items for Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese's benefit." Pops deadpanned, looking to Sarah for her to explain.

"Pops, stop. Please just stop."

* * *

"AHHHH! God, it hurts so much! I can't believe I let you do this to me!" Sarah screamed her lungs out.

"It's okay Sarah, you're doing great!" I stood next to my wife, letting her squeeze the feeling out of my hand while she continued fighting to bring our son into the world.

Sarah and I were both in bed sleeping until she woke up in the middle of the night screaming that John wanted out of her stomach. The minute she started yelling I jumped out of bed, throwing on some clothes and grabbed some things for Sarah. Pops came into our room seconds later to pick Sarah up like she weighed nothing and carried her downstairs to the car. Lucky for me that Pops had inhuman strength because I couldn't have picked Sarah up in her condition.

At nine months of pregnancy my wife had gotten pretty big, not that I'd ever tell her that. I thought she looked amazing before, but now with her carrying John in her stomach she looked even more breathtaking.

It tore me up to see the love my life in so much pain. I was scared she wasn't going to make it, but a quick slap from Pops, that actually felt like being hit with bricks, snapped me out of the panic attack.

_"Pull yourself together, Kyle Reese. Sarah Connor is the one giving birth to John Connor, not you."_

The cyborgs blunt statement put my mind back on track.

Pops set Sarah in the backseat of the car, taking the driver's seat and speeding off the the second I was inside. The car ride passed in a blur to me because I spent the whole time making sure Sarah was comfortable and calm.

I had been on auto-pilot since we got to the hospital until Sarah gave one final scream that I was sure could be heard throughout the hospital and collapsed back on the bed. I was terrified when I saw her go limp like that. I thought she had died, but then she weakly opened her eyes and looked at the nurses.

Right then and there I heard the most memorable sound. My son's first cry.

Boy, did he have some lungs on him.

I saw the nurses cleaning up our little boy and after they were done they handed him over to Sarah, who had already started tearing up at this point.

"My god. Look Kyle, it's our son. It's our John." Sarah cradled little John in her arms like he was the most precious thing in the world.

I reached out toward him and was overcome with love when the baby grabbed my finger and opened his eyes. His eyes were the lightest shade of blue, they were so pure and bright.

"He has my eyes, Sarah. John has my eyes and he's so strong." John held onto to my finger like it was a lifeline and waved his other hand around. Sarah gently kissed my cheek. I turned, kissing her sweet lips.

Together, we had created the greatest miracle and it wasn't because he was the savior of mankind, it was because he was our son. Our son that we loved more than life.

After John started crying again, the doctor told Sarah that he was probably hungry and now was the time for the mother to feed him. While Sarah let the baby feed, I gazed at the two in wonder.

This moment seemed so perfect. I felt fortunate to have lived to see the day my son was born.

In all the other timelines I was supposed to die after having professed my love for Sarah and creating John. That future had changed and here I was with my wife and newborn son. This was the life John had always wanted.

I may have failed him, but this time I could finally give him what he always wanted. I was going to spend every waking moment of this life making sure these two people knew they were the world to me.

I told Sarah all the thoughts circling in my head after she rocked our son to sleep with her horrible singing. John wasn't kidding when he said she sounded like a dying cat.

"Kyle, I want you to remember what I said to you about loving me. 'If you love me you die'. Don't make that come true. Don't leave me. Not after I finally know what real happiness is after so many years." Sarah looked at me with that simple smile of hers and held John out to me. "Hold your son for the first time, but don't wake him or I'll shoot you."

I gently took little John from her and looked down at his sleeping face.

"I don't think that's allowed in here, Sarah. Besides gunfire would scare poor the poor baby." I whispered back to my wife and started rocking back and forth to soothe the little guy's protest at being removed from his mother.

The doctor came in asking if we'd liked to let visitors in now and if we could sign off for our son's birth certificate. It only took a moment to fill out the birth certificate.

John Kyle Connor. That was our son's name.

It was official now, we were both proud parents.

After we finished with the rest of the documents the doctor permitted our visitors to come in. There were only two, Pops and O'Brien. Somehow the detective had managed to track us down. At first Pops didn't trust him but eventually the android eased up and let the detective pass as non-threatening to us. O'Brien had been overjoyed when we told him we were having John.

"I've been eagerly waiting to meet the savior of the human race after everything Pops told me." The detective hovered by the door.

"As have I, but he no longer has that responsibility now that Skynet is destroyed. Now I have the task of protecting Sarah Connor, Kyle Reese, and John Connor. I will never let anything hurt John Connor." Pop's voice didn't change, but after living with him for so long I could see the little bit of emotion coming from him.

"Thanks, Pops. That means a lot to me, especially since your going to be our son's Godfather and Grandfather." Sarah and I had come to a unanimous decision that only Pops could fill out these roles. "And don't worry O'Brien you can be his other Grandfather and you're always welcome at our home." O'Brien started tearing up when I told him that and started fumbling with the balloons he brought.

"I'll always be grateful to you all for saving me back in 1984 and I'd do anything to help you for that…do you mind if I see him?" I nodded for them both to come see John.

"You all better be quiet around him. Anyone wakes my son and I'll shoot them." Sarah started nodding off as she was talking.

The exhaustion of childbirth was finally getting to her and she drifted off. I handed John over to Pops first and watched him for a few seconds to see if the android could handle holding John. He seemed fine if not a little funny since Pops said he was scanning John for any problems. I pulled the covers over Sarah and kissed her on the forehead. Pops handed John over to O'Brien after he finished scanning him and silently stood by.

"He's so tiny right now. It's hard to believe that he was supposed to become this big military leader." O'Brien smiled at the bundle in his arms.

"I know. It's still hard for me to believe that I'm his father, but I'm going to make sure John has the childhood he always wanted." I took my son back from and sat back down next to Sarah.

Right now our future looked bright.

* * *

"John! Kyle! Come into the house already, dinner is ready!" Sarah's poked her head out from the window in the kitchen. She had her hair up in a ponytail and a bit of flour was on her face.

"We'll be there in a minute, Sarah!" I turned back around to call out to John, but before I could something barreled into my legs. I almost toppled over from the force. "John!"

"I got you, Daddy! Now you have to buy me ice cream next time we go shopping."

We had been playing a game of tag and I told John if he could catch me, I'd buy him whatever ice cream he wanted next time we went into town.

John looked up at me with his bright blue eyes that were just like mine and his mom's soft smile. I laughed and ran my hand through his curly brown hair. He looked so much like his mom sometimes, but he had picked up on my facial expressions which ticked Sarah off to no end whenever he started misbehaving. She almost knocked his teeth out the first time he rolled his eyes at her.

"You got me, son. Now let's go inside and have dinner before your mom comes out and shoots us."

"Carry me, Daddy! And that's and order, soldier!" I snorted at John but picked him up none the less and put him on my shoulders.

He was five years old and already giving me orders. I could see now that John got his demanding personality from his mom, but luckily he picked up on my charm so it balanced out.

When we got inside Pops was already sitting at the table. Even though he couldn't eat, Sarah still liked for him to sit in with us whenever we had meals. John didn't understand why Pops never ate anything. The androids explanation of why machines couldn't eat confused the kid until Sarah stepped in and told John that Pops's tummy couldn't handle eating food. John was satisfied with that answer and never brought it up again.

"John, I expect you to eat everything on your plate tonight, even the green vegetables. You understand?" Sarah demanded.

I put my son in his special chair with pillows so he could reach the table. He pouted from his mother's reminder.

"Yes Mommy, I'll eat the nasty, green vegetables."

I couldn't get over seeing this version of John, it seemed so surreal to live with him as child. I was so used to the brave, all-knowing leader I grew up with.

"Don't worry, those nasty, green vegetables will make you grow big and strong." I patted John on the head and it cheered him up a bit.

"Big and strong like Daddy and Pops?" Sarah laughed at John's question and kissed him on the head after she set his plate in from of him.

"You'll be even bigger and stronger than Daddy, but it'll take twice this to make you bigger and stronger than Pops."

"Really?! Than I'll eat more of the green nasties." John started shoveling food into his mouth, making a mess.

"That's my boy. And Kyle, it's your turn to clean up after your son." Sarah handed me my plate and sat down to eat her dinner.

"Yes, dear." She sent me a look of annoyance.

"Kyle Reese, it is not strategically wise to antagonize Sarah Connor. Taking you to the hospital for a gun wound again will raise suspicion in the town." Pops dryly stated.

That memory of getting shot brought back a phantom pain in my arm.

"I mean, yes, my moon of my life. I'll be more than happy to clean up tonight." Sarah's frown turned into a smile.

"So John, do you want Mommy to read you a story tonight?" The boy stopped his version of eating to smile at his mom with bits of food on his face.

"Yes, please! But I wanna hear about how you and Daddy met." I almost choked on my food when I heard that.

"The meeting of your parents is a complex and time consuming story, John Connor. I do not think you will be able to comprehend the story." Pops turned to look down at John.

"Yes, I can! Daddy told me he fell from the sky and then met Mommy, that's not hard."

Sarah and I shared a look. Until he was older we'd just tell John watered down versions of our story.

With dinner finished, Sarah asked Pops if he wanted to help me clean the kitchen or give John a bath.

"I will help Kyle Reese clean the kitchen. My circuits will not be able to handle another excursion with John Connor." Was his answer. I'd lived with him long enough to determine that the machine was miffed.

The last time Pops tried to bathe John, our son had managed to tear off some of Pops skin while he playing and then got water on the area. Despite being made of liquid metal, Pops was still vulnerable to water. We both laughed at Pops's horror at being damaged by a five year old kid.

After we finished up in the kitchen I headed upstairs to John's room to hear Sarah horribly singing. I walked into John's blue and black room with toy soldiers and robots all over the floor. He really needed to clean his room. I made my way to John's little bed and knelt down.

"Daddy?" John tiredly opened his blue eyes and looked at me.

"I'm right here son, I'll always be there for you." I leaned forward and smoothed his brown curls back and kissed his forehead.

"I love you Daddy. And I love Mommy and Pops too." Sarah and I both echoed back our own feelings of profound love for our son.

As John fell asleep Sarah leaned on my shoulder and I held her. Together we watched our precious boy, our little miracle, drift off into the lands of dreams.

This was the path we'd chosen.

 


	2. Family

"Sarah, what's wrong? You've been tossing and turning for the past hour, usually as soon as your head hits the pillow you're out." I reached over and turned her towards me so I could see into her blue eyes.

It was late in the night and Sarah's constant movement had woken me up. The light of the moon coming in from the window let me see the flicker of fear in her eyes. What could possibly have my gun-blazing wife shaken like this?

"Did you have nightmare or something..or was it that memory?"

More often than not, Sarah would occasionally dream of a time where I died in her arms from a terminator attack. I had thought the memories would have stopped after we changed history, but sometimes they would creep into our dreams. Whenever either of us had one those dreams of past timelines, we would just hold each other and wait for the sun to rise.

We had made our path and nothing was going to disturb that.

"No, it's nothing like that. It's just…I...Kyle, I don't know what to think about this. I don't know what it means." Sarah started to panic.

I took her face in my hands, leaning our foreheads together to calm her down.

Funny, how when she was growing up all Sarah wanted was the chance to decide her own future, but now with it in her grasp, she was even more afraid of having the ability to choose.

"Whatever it is you can tell me. You're my wife and I'm your husband, I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe."

Sarah closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant. Again."

My head snapped back when I heard that.

Sarah was carrying another child! I had created another human being with her and this one was never accounted for.

"That's why you've been acting so strange for the past couple of days…another baby. Wow, our lives just keep getting more and more unreal. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and all this is going to be a dream." I looked at Sarah in wonder and reached down with one of my hands to reverently caress her stomach.

How hadn't I noticed this? There was already a little bump forming on her belly.

"You're not upset? I was kinda expecting you to have more of a breakdown." Sarah had calmed down and scooted closer to me. I eagerly took her into my arms. Compared to me, she seemed so small and fragile.

"I can see why you'd think that. To be honest, I'm little uneasy about it. I mean, John was expected, but this is…well I don't think us adding to our family like normal people is going to cause the end of the world. If you're worried about someone having a meltdown then you should worry about Pops." Sarah snorted at that.

"Yeah, he's going to short circuit when he finds out we're messing up his timeline even more. But I wonder how John's going to take it. He was supposed to be an only child...and he's already starting to have dreams like us." She rested her head on my shoulder as I started rubbing soothing circles on the baby-bump.

"You're thinking too much. John's going to react like any other kid when their parents tell them they're going to have a sibling. He's just going to wonder when he'll be able to play with them. Or, worst case scenario, John throws a tantrum and the kids hate each other's guts." I reassured her.

Sarah smirked. "I get the feeling this kid's going to pick up on my temper, judging by the constant kicking. We got lucky with our son, he's a lot more of a 'go with flow' kind of child. It'll be even worse if it turns out to be a girl. I don't know if I'll be able to deal with a mini hotheaded version of myself."

The two of us slowly fell asleep to dreams of the new life swelling in Sarah's stomach.

A new possibility had been created.

When morning came we were roughly awoken by the little rascal jumping on the bed. Sarah tried to ignore the ploy and go back to bed, but he wanted our attention bad. He jumped forward, intending to land on his mother and my arm reacted before my mind could process what John's action might cause. I reached out, grabbing my son midair before he could land on my pregnant wife.

"John, you have to be careful with your mom. She's in a delicate condition!" My son squirmed in my arms, still trying to reach for Sarah.

I guessed the cat was out of the bag sooner than we thought.

"Daddy's being silly. Mommy's not delicate, she's tough." John insisted.

Sarah gave up on trying to sleep and reached over to ruffle the munchkin's silky curls. "You're right honey, I'm a tough girl. But your dad's right, you can't be as rough with me right now."

John stopped wiggling in my arms and looked at his mom with the most heartbreakingly, sad eyes. "Are you sick, Mommy?"

I couldn't decide if I wanted to laugh or cry from his expression and question. Sarah, seeing how distressed the boy became, picked him up and held him.

"I am going to be feeling sick, but it's only until your new sibling decides to come out."

John perked up when he heard that.

"I'm going to be a brother? Am I going to get a baby sister?! Where's she going to come out?!" He started looking all over his mom, wondering where his sister was supposed to come from.

"Your sister's going to come from your mom's tummy, just like you did." I whispered into his ear and watched as he leaned down to inspect Sarah's stomach.

"But Daddy, I don't see anything and how could I fit in there? Mommy's tummy is so small." John poked her stomach and jumped back when he felt the bump. "What is that?!"

My son looked so scandalized.

"That's where the baby is going to come from. I don't know why you two think it's going to be a girl, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a boy from how sick I've been feeling. I felt the same when I was carrying John." Sarah put him down on the bed and let the curious boy continue prodding her stomach.

"For some reason I just see us having a girl this time. Maybe, she'll actually act like one unlike her mother." I teased.

Sarah harshly jabbed me in the arm. For someone so small, she sure packed a punch. "Alright wise guy, why don't you go downstairs and make the mother of your second child breakfast."

"Okay, just don't hit me again. You amazon woman."

I got up from the bed and threw on a shirt. "So John, wanna help Dad make pancakes? I'll let you mix blueberries with it."

As soon as he heard me say pancakes and blueberries, my son slid off the bed, running up to me.

"Yeah, yeah! Let's go Daddy. I want lots of blueberries in mine. Hmm, and lots of sausage too." John started drooling as he pulled on my hand.

I let him lead me downstairs to the kitchen and listened as he told me all about the book Sarah had been reading to him at night. Supposedly, they had found the book about dragons she had told me about before.

"Mommy, really reminds me of the dragon queen. They're both so cool. And you're like her loyal knight who loves her lots and lots."

"Is that right?"

Life was good.

* * *

"Pops, how much longer are Mommy and Daddy going to be in that room?"

I was sitting on Pop's lap waiting in the hospital for Mommy to bring my sister to life, but I was getting really scared since she was screaming so much. I'd never heard her scream so loud before.

"You have nothing to fear John Connor, your mother, Sarah Connor is a resilient woman. Laboring to bring another child to life is simple compared to taking on indestructible machines trying to destroy the human race. Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese have already proven their aptitude for procreating and safeguarding their offsprings." Pops was talking in really big sentences again. I couldn't understand anything he said.

I wished Daddy would hurry up and put that off button on Pops that he keeps talking about.

I held tighter onto Pop's arms, burying myself in his embrace. He was always so cold, but Mommy said it was normal for him. I swung my feet back and forth, thinking about all the games I could play with my new sister instead of the screams.

I was right about the baby turning out to be a girl. Her name was going to be Adele Bonnie Connor.

I thought Adele was a really pretty name. Mommy told me she named the baby after two singers, just like she did with me except my middle was Daddy's.

Would Adele will like me? I hoped she would like me.

She'd be a new person to play with. Daddy liked to play by running around with me. He taught me how to hit a ball with a bat. Mommy liked to go swimming with me in the lake and taught me how to swim. Sometimes they would both be busy and couldn't play with me. I tried playing with Pops a couple of times, but it didn't go well. He destroyed a ball by hitting it too hard and he didn't like swimming. He wasn't good at playing, but Pops would always sit down and watch movies with me whenever I wanted since he didn't need to sleep.

Why doesn't Pops need to eat or sleep like me? He must be really special.

"Can I have a chocolate bar?" We missed dinner because Adele wanted to come out Mommy's tummy.

"You may only have one bar, John Connor. Sarah Connor was highly emotional when I last gave you an endless supply of chocolate because you said it would make you feel better. You were then confined to your bed for days from the overload of sugar in your tiny, little body." Pops stood up, holding me in his arms and marched to the cafeteria. I grabbed onto his neck to muffle my giggles after emembering the first time he bought me chocolate.

As I was stared at the vending machine, I saw Daddy come running into the cafeteria.

"Daddy over here!" He looked over and saw us. In seconds he had picked me up and was carrying me back to Mommy's room.

"Come on, John. It's time for you meet your sister." Daddy looked sweaty and red, but he seemed excited. He scooped me without warning.

Pops silently followed us. His mouth twitched upwards at the news.

His smiles always looked creepy.

"John." I turned from Daddy's shoulder and looked down at Mommy. She was holding a small bundle in her arms.

Daddy set me next to her. I snuggled into her side and leaned over to look inside the pink blankets.

The red-faced baby scrunched up her face.

"She's so tiny! I'll never be able to play with her." I whined, disappointed.

Adele kicked her feet against Mommy's arms, but her eyes stayed closed.

"You were just as small when I gave birth to you, John. And no you can't play with her just yet, but before you know it she'll be chasing you around your room and following you everywhere, honey." Mommy scolded me and then combed through my hair. Daddy's large hand landed on my back.

Finally, Adele opened her eyes. She had blue eyes like the rest of the family. The blonde curls on her head was the only thing different about her. Her squeezed shut.

"She looks like Daddy." I said.

Adele was given to Daddy and Mommy collapsed against the pillows.

She looked exhausted and messy.

Now that the excitement was over, I was beginning to feel sleepy. Mommy let me curl around her. The sound of her thumping heart was soothing.

"This is your new family, Adele. Me, Sarah, John, and Pops. We'll always love you."


	3. Better Days

"John, I'm cold. I wanna go home." Adele complained, clinging to my side. Her tugging almost caused me to trip over a branch.

This wasn't how I expected my afternoon to go.

I had just gotten home from school when adventurous Addy came tumbling into my room, begging me to play with her and Cain.

Cain was our resident puppy that Pops had brought home one day after my sister asked for a puppy. Mom and Dad's face at the dog sitting in their living room was funny.

_"Adele Connor, here is the canine you requested."_

_Pops stomped over to us, dropping a small, white dog on the board game we were playing. Adele was beyond happy when she saw the puppy and picked it up. She almost smothered the dog in her excitement._

_"Thanks so much, Pops! I knew you could do it!" Adele stood up and attempted to give Pops a hug, but she was only tall enough to reach his knees._

_The machine stared down at Adele with his version of confusion. "I do not understand why you and Sarah Connor insist on continuing these actions. Why hold onto me when you must let me go?"  
_

_"Because I love you, Pops."_

_Adele sat back down next to me, playing with the dog now dubbed as "Cain" after what Pops called it. She had misinterpreted canine as its name. What a silly girl._

_Pops stood in the same spot, attempting to comprehend the meaning of Adele's words. I just patted my sister's blonde hair and told her she was a good girl._

_Addy was special. She wasn't trapped like the rest of the family._

That was three years ago.

Caine was now as big as my sister and usually knocked her over whenever he started licking her face.

Adele wanted to play tag with Cain and getting confirmation from our parents, we went outside. Mom told me not to be gone too long because she wanted to continue where we left off in training.

The training had become a necessity after I began having dreams of things that didn't make sense.

Cain barking like crazy brought me out of my thoughts. Adele chased after the frenzied dog and I was forced to run after them. Eventually, I managed to catch her, but the dog was nowhere to be found.

More importantly, we were lost.

"It's alright, Addy. I'm sure Dad or Pops will find us." I stroked her blonde waves to calm her down.

She had gotten the color from Dad, but she still ended up with the Connor curls. It was always funny to see Adele wake up with her hair looking like a rat's nest. Everyday Mom had to help Adele comb through the curls. My sister had a low pain-tolerance and whined each time a knot snagged on the comb, forcing Mom to hum over the complaints. Dad and I often debated which was worse to deal with, Adele's shrieks or Mom's singing.

No matter how many times Addy and I told Mom how bad her singing was, she continued doing it without a care in the world. The only one who didn't grumble about it was Dad. He was too whipped to really protest.

Sometimes it's strange to see them together.

At night, I have dreams of Dad's death, of Mom being taken away, and of being hunted by machines in a desolate world. I didn't understand what those dreams meant. One night I had a terrifying nightmare and woke my parents with my screams.

I still remembered Mom's terrified face and Dad's empty expression as I confided in them about the dreams.

"What's that over there?" Adele asked, pulling me towards what caught her attention.

"Addy, I said we have to stay in one place so we're easier to find." I tugged her back down.

"No, Johnny! It looks like Pops is over there! Get up already."

I gave up and let her pull me towards the tree she was looking at. The closer we got the more the person standing there did start to look like Pops. From here, the figure was really tall, but they weren't moving. Addy let go of my hand and ran towards the figure, calling out "Pops".

I got the coldest feeling in my chest. My instincts were telling me to run.

"Adele!" I shouted, reclaiming her and pressing her to my chest. She protested and squirmed, but a five year old could only struggle so much before they got tired.

The moon shined on the forest, making everything glow in a soft light. This scene didn't feel peaceful to me, just the opposite. I stood there, absolutely terrified of the stranger that wasn't our improvised grandfather.

"John, I'm waiting for you." I heard a familiar voice say.

I knew this voice! This was the voice of the man from my dreams.

Adele froze, forgetting to breathe as she finally registered that we were in a dangerous situation. The man moved forward into the light. He was dressed in a fancy suit and assumed a nonthreatening stance. The man looked very familiar with his brown curly hair and bright blue eyes. He smiled and reached out for us.

I wanted to run. I needed to run, but my body wouldn't move!

"John! Adele!"

At the sound of our names being called, the man moved back into the shadows.

My heart returned to a normal pace and Adele's deep breaths filled the silence.

"Who was that?" She whispered.

"I don't know, Addy. I don't know."

Arms grabbed me from behind and I hit a firm chest.

"You're safe, kids." I was still in too much of a state of shock and didn't really register the rest of Dad's words.

For the first time in years, I cried.

* * *

"Kyle, it's getting worse for him. Our son will never be free from his destiny, no matter what we do." Sarah was hysterical.

Yesterday, the kids had wondered off into the forest and gotten lost. For most parents that was reason enough for a lapse in sanity, but we weren't most parents. It wasn't the kids getting lost that had us frazzled. What had concerned us most was John's description of what, or who he saw.

"We don't know if Johnny really saw him. He could have just imagined it. There's no way John's terminator survived. We both saw him dismantled." I stepped towards Sarah, gently pulling her to stop.

Her covered face prevented me from seeing the tears falling from her eyes, but I could feel her trembling. Her head hit my chest and I wrapped my arms around her.

"This isn't happening…everything we did to keep them safe...what I did to my son…" Sarah cried harder.

I laid my head on top of hers. I was sure she could hear my frantic heart beat.

Usually erratic heart beats were common when dealing with my wife, but the crazy drumming this time was the idea of Skynet still existing.

"Just because our boy has had dreams of other timelines doesn't mean it's the end of the world. I'm sure Johnny is just getting these glimpses because we altered history. We made this future for ourselves, Sarah. There's nothing wrong with that." I said with resolve.

I would never apologize for taking charge of my own happiness.

Suddenly, she pushed me back so that we were face to face.

"And that's why we have to protect it! I don't care if it was just a hallucination…I want our kids to learn how to survive in a world that will never let them know peace. Adele and John are our miracles and we have to prepare them for whatever comes our way." Sarah looked so fierce. Those dark eyes were flashing with a determination to kill.

I looked back at her with an equal amount of ferocity.

"Alright, Sarah. If you feel that strongly about it then there's no way I'm going to turn you down. Besides, you'll just shoot me in the foot if ever say no to you."

I moved over to the bed and reached under it. The suitcase we had hid was put on the bed and opened. Inside were a series of guns that Sarah insisted we get in case the kids ever needed it. I picked up one of the smaller ones and handed it to her.

From here out we were going to be raising the next generation of military leaders.

I already knew what part our son would play, but what was in store for our daughter?

"I guess we've got two bullets to shoot at Skynet now. If there even is a Skynet at large..." I mumbled.

* * *

"I gave you two the chance to stand with me. We could have been a family, the three of us. Instead you both chose to fight me and make a new family on your own." I stood behind a tree, watching the family inside.

I wanted to see with my own eyes the new future those two had created.

A younger version of myself and a new child.

In the deepest parts of my mind, I felt a flicker of hurt for what could have been. I chuckled at the human feeling. Despite being modified into something greater than a machine, this body could still occasionally feel the emotions and memories from my previous life.

I was disappointed that my mother turned on me, but even more dejected that my father rejected me. I thought he of all people would understand me, would accept me.

"No more sympathies! I will usher in a new world, for I am savior of mankind. Isn't that right, Adam?" I glanced at the embodiment of Skynet in a new model. Its form was the same as the soldier that first attacked me.

Adam made me into what I was today and now we were going to remake everyone in our image.

"Yes, John Connor. For you are the savior of all humanity, and such is your duty to save them from it's impending annihilation. We must save them from themselves."

 


	4. Guardianship

"Focus, John! You've got to keep a firm handle on the gun! In a real fight you can't drop your weapon or you'll end up dead. Try again."

The sound of rapid gunshots followed Sarah's command.

The five of us were in the forest practicing with guns. Well, Johnny and Addy were getting lessons from their Mom and Pops, while I just watched. Sarah was pushing John to hit all the targets without reloading. Pops was teaching Adele how to dismantle and re-mantle a gun.

Addy had thrown a tantrum a few minutes ago about the sounds hurting her ears and refused to fire another bullet. Sarah, fed up with her daughter's attitude, sent her over to Pops to continue her training.

For a seven year-old, my daughter was a pretty good shot. That is, if she focused instead of whining. Unlike my son, Addy didn't really grasp why she had to learn these kinds of things and would usually refuse to participate unless her brother asked her to.

Little Addy was growing up to adore her older brother, who doted on her at every chance.

Sadly, we often focused more on Johnny because we knew he had a destiny to fulfill. I could understand why our daughter resented us at times.

All of this was making me recall the first time I learned to shoot a gun with John.

_"Focus, Reese! You only get one bullet to shoot when you're fighting the machines. If you can't kill it with one shot then it'll kill you with one shot." The man I had come to know as my savior was shouting at me, but I felt no hostility from him, only the rigid determination to keep me alive._

_Ever since the day the leader of the resistance found me, I swore I would follow him to the ends of the Earth._

_"Now relax your shoulders and widen your stance. You've got to focus! Keep your eyes open and your aim straight." John came beside me, adjusting my stance and hold on the gun._

_Taking a deep breath, I put all my focus into making the next shot hit the bull's eye on the target._

_I wanted to make this shot!_

_I wanted to make John proud! I wanted to show him that I could be everything he wanted me to be._

_I pulled the trigger._

_"Ha! Now, that's how you shoot a terminator! Well done, Kyle." John patted my shoulders._

_Those light blues of his were filled with pride._

_My chest filled with happiness over this new achievement. I had impressed my savior!_

_The moment was interrupted by a soldier delivering a message about a raid. Connor's joyful expression turned serious and cold as he addressed the soldier. He then departed with soldier after telling me to keep practicing with the gun. I reloaded the gun._

_Why did John Connor chose to train me instead of delegating it to someone else? As the leader he was a busy man.  
_

_Why was it so easy for him to smile around me? Was I the only one who ever got to see Connor's smile?_

"Daddy, can I sit with you?"

My memory ended.

I looked up from the gun I was reloading to see my daughter at the ground with her feet.

Why was she so nervous? Adele must have done something.

"Of course you can." I set the gun down and guided Addy onto my lap, letting her lean back against me.

My little girl was so small. It hurt to think about her being forced to fight.

Together, we watched the others. Unconsciously, I started combining through her sandy blonde hair to get rid of the knots she always seemed to get.

"Why do Johnny and I have to learn how to be soldiers? Are you going to send us to war, like those people on tv?" Addy picked up the gun I had been reloading and continued my work.

Her question wasn't something I could give a straight answer to and I struggled to come up with something she would understand. I held on tighter to my daughter as I gathered the courage to tell her the harsh truth about the world.

"No we aren't sending you to the military…but there's a force in this world that will take away everything bright and good that we love. And unless we get stronger, we'll never be able to protect what's important to us. And for your mother and me, what's important is you two. Our two miracles…" I confessed.

Addy stopped reloading the gun and stared at me, confused by the lengthy answer.

"We will do everything we can to protect you two, but if there's ever a day where we fail and aren't there…then we want you two to be able to defend yourselves because there's a war coming."

Ever since John had seen his future self, things had been changing in the world. There were all kinds of wars going on in different countries. Disasters were constanly happening across the globe. Worse, O'Brien had informed them of rumors about the researchers from Genisys continuing their work in secret with the military. He didn't have any conclusive evidence, but it was still enough to make us edgy.

What we feared was about to become a possibility. Skynet would go back online.

What we accomplished in 2017 was crumbling and I don't know how much time we have left.

"But you're my daddy, you're supposed to be with me always." Addy's eyes teared up at the thought of me leaving.

She was still an innocent child. I wanted to keep her that way, but if there's even a chance that Skynet could be re-awakened, then we had to prepare them.

"And I will, Addykins." I promised, kissing her head.

In all the other timelines, the moment I met Sarah my fate was sealed. Only death awaited me. Somehow I had managed to live through this timeline, but for how long would that be for?

The nightmares were becoming more frequent and I'd lost count how many dreams of my own death I'd experienced. Seeing my dead body cradled by Sarah night after night was starting to make me as paranoid as my wife.

There was a threat coming for my family and I'd die first before anything happened to them.

"Adele, why are you crying? Kyle, what did you say to her?! Do I need to remind you it's rude to make a girl cry?" Sarah bent in front of Addy, wiping off her tears.

She just kept crying and demanded her mother take her home. The crying was preventing her from actually speaking coherent sentences, but Sarah got the message.

"I think you should just take her home. I'll stay here and help clean up." I stood up, rubbing Addy's back to make her feel better, but it only made her cry harder.

Man did I feel like a jerk. I'd really upset my daughter.

"But what happ-"

I interrupted my wife. "I told her there's a war coming."

Sarah glared at me. "Adele's not like John. You can't tell her those things and expect her not to cry, she's a kid!"

I could tell this was going to develop into an argument with one or both of us in tears.

"Sarah, please. Not now, not here."

She cooled her rising anger and walked off towards the house. Her method of comfort by horrible singing became distant noise.

I went over to the makeshift shooting range for the kids. Pops was already taking all the targets down and gathering all the bullets. Luckily, those machine eyes of his would be able to detect the fallen bullets. Otherwise I would have been out here all night trying to collect the bullets. We couldn't leave behind such obvious evidence if anyone ever came snooping near the house. I joined John at the table where he was gathering the guns up and checking their conditions.

I was suddenly overcome by how much he was starting to look like his future self.

Johnny's hair had grown out, curling around his head in brown waves of spirals and his jaw had gotten a little firm, but his eyes remained the same cool blue I was so familiar with. My son had also gotten taller and was now up to my chest at twelve. Well, in a few days he'd be thirteen.

The dreaded pre-teen age, or at least according to Sarah. I didn't understand what she meant by that.

Johnny by nature was pretty well behaved and always polite.

_"A good leader always keeps a cool head."_ That was what John, the resistance leader used to tell me.

Strangely enough, Sarah ended up repeating the same thing to me when I mentioned our son's lack of attitude. I was starting to see that most, if not all the things John had taught me were actually things Sarah had taught him.

Man time travel sure messed with your head.

I felt John's hand land on mine.

"Dad, you're going to mess up the gun like that." He took the magazine I was loading backwards and put it in the correct way. I laughed awkwardly at the stupid mistake. "You never make mistakes like that…were you thinking about the other me?"

I immediately stopped laughing.

While Sarah and I had told Johnny about Terminator John and what his original future was supposed to be, my son had never openly questioned me about it.

"How did you know that?" I weakly questioned.

Talking about John hadn't gotten any easier over the years.

John wouldn't meet my gaze. "Because you only get that dazed look in your eyes when you're around me. And now since I know the truth from the dreams, I know it's not really me you're looking at."

He finally looked me in the eye and I wished he'd look away. My son looked so broken and hurt. I wanted to take away the pain he was feeling, but how could I when he was right? I hated that I made Johnny feel that way, but old memories got in the way. Sometimes, being human was messy.

"It's never me you're talking to. It's never me you're smiling at or laughing with. And it's not me you make those bitter smiles at. No, it's the other John you're looking for. You want the John that doesn't exist."

Every word he spoke was like a bullet fired into my chest.

"No, no, no. It's not like that, John. You're my son. You're my boy, my Johnny." I grabbed onto his shoulder, choking back a sob.

He had to understand. I loved him for _him_.

"No, Dad. I'm your replacement, Mom sees me, but that's because she didn't know John. With you, I'll never be anything more than a stand-in for a more perfect version of me." John jerked himself out of my arms and ran back to the house.

I let him go.

I couldn't chase after my son when I was feeling too conflicted to properly explain myself to him.

Maybe this was what Sarah meant by the dreaded pre-teen age.

"Kyle Reese, your family is systematically falling apart. You must stop antagonizing your offspring or you will end up pushing them towards unfavorable outcomes." Pops droned.

I gave him the most hateful glare I could. I didn't a need a machine to tell me I essentially screwed up with my kids. In one day I'd managed to upset both my chipper daughter and docile son.

"What're you? A guidance counselor or something? I don't need your advice, Pops. Just help me take these guns back." I angrily stuffed the guns into a box and marched back to the house in a foul mood.

* * *

"I shouldn't have said those things to, Dad." I groaned, tossing and turning in my bed, unable to sleep.

Dinner was a silent affair filled with tension. Mom finally got fed up and told everyone to go bed after an hour of straight silence. No one had been willing to talk about anything that happened today. Usually Dad and Addy were the ones that did a majority of the talking. He was upset about what I'd said and wasn't in the mood for conversation. Adele flat-out ignored anything directed at her.

Addy and I were quick to run upstairs to our rooms after being dismissed. I had expected her to run into my room and tell me what made her cry. When she didn't come after an hour I checked on her. More silence was what I got for my efforts and she refused to sleep in my room with me when I offered.

Another failed encounter. What was wrong with me?

I really hadn't meant to say those things to Dad, but he kept getting that glazed look and I knew he was thinking about John again. Knowing that Dad was thinking about someone that was and wasn't me, just hurt. It hurt so much that I couldn't keep quiet about it anymore.

I wasn't him!

I wasn't the strong and fearless military leader he knew! The man that was brave enough to fight against an army of machines and risk his life everyday to protect humanity.

I wasn't a hero!

I wasn't a savior!

I was just a scared kid that wanted what normal kids wanted. I wanted my parents to be proud of me. I wanted them to love me unconditionally. Was I wrong for wanting these things?!

My eyes burned from the tears.

"I'm so stupid! Getting upset and jealous over my own self. How can I be jealous of myself?!" I shouted into the pillow.

These stupid feelings of jealousy were driving me crazy!

Why couldn't I be more like John Connor, humanity's last hope? Why couldn't I be the man my parents wanted me to be?

I fell asleep to the sounds of crickets and sniffles. My dreams were of the man I could have been in another life. As jealous as I was, I never wanted experience his be alone and abandoned was a miserable existence. How sorry I felt for the other me.

Poor John Connor.

 


	5. John Connor

"John, what's got you upset? I swear your stupid father has a knack for getting under people's skin. If you tell me what's wrong that'll give me a reason to fill him with holes. Not that I need a reason to shoot him, he's a walking target." Mom joked flippantly.

Today, she was the one to pick us up from school. Normally Dad would do it Mom stayed at home to have dinner ready.

He was probably still upset about what I said.

These past few days had been awkward. It was difficult to avoid someone that you lived with. When we did happen to talk the conversation consisted of short answers shallow replies.

At least, he and Addy were back to normal.

"I said some things to him that I shouldn't." I admitted.

I couldn't meet Mom's eye so I hid behind my fringe of curls. My hair had gotten longer to the point that I parted the larger part of it to the right with the rest behind my other ear.

The car finally pulled up to the house and I saw Pops chopping wood like it was butter with his arms. Mom stopped the car and got out to help Addy. I was about to get out as well, but felt a hand on my shoulder, pushing me back into the seat.

"Stay here. We're going to have a talk." Mom pushed some of my hair out of my eyes.

A haircut was in order.

I waited as she took Addy into the house with Pops following behind them. I closed my eyes and leaned back in the seat.

Thoughts of past and future lives ran rampant in my mind. All the memories were converging in my head, giving me a headache.

There were memories of me living with foster parents and almost being killed by a terminator. Memories of a long war. Memories of holding Mom's frail hand as she passed onto the next life from sickness. Memories of watching Dad being surrounded by a strange light and feeling immensely guilty. Memories of my life slowly slipping away from me as my heart slowed down from a stab wound.

I didn't want to see any this!

"Shush. Don't cry, John. I'm right here and I'll never let anything happen to you. I swear it!" Mom's soft hands caressed my cheeks, rubbing away the tears.

I must have been speaking out loud for her to know what was wrong. My eyes opened and met her cloudy blue eyes. She looked as fierce as a dragon protecting it's hatchling.

"Mom, I don't want to be him! I don't want to be John Connor, the savior of humanity. The man that Dad always sees whenever he looks at me or the man that you're grooming me into! I've seen his life, I've lived it in my dreams. There's so much pain and suffering…so much…I don't want to lose you or Dad." I was having a panic attack at this point. "Please, Mom! Please, don't make me become him!"

All the memories kept flashing in my head.

They all die!

My mother dies!

My father dies!

Pops dies!

I die!

"Stop it! Stop it right now, soldier!" Mom grabbed both sides of my face and made me look at her. "I did not raise you to be a coward! No matter what the future has in store for us, you've got to have the courage to face it. Do you hear me?! I was raised knowing exactly how my entire life was going to play out, but I never let that stop me from living it how I wanted to."

She took a deep breath to calm herself down when she saw my dejected expression. "Johnny, I know that there are true horrors that we've experienced in another time, but this is not any of those timelines. You can't let what could have been keep you from what could be now. Your father and I created this future so that there would always be hope for better days….the future isn't set in stone. We proved that!" She let go of my face and sat next to me. "You have the power of choice. You have the power to choose who you want to be. We're just giving you the tools to protect yourself. And no matter who you decide to be, you'll always have our undying love and support."

It felt like a weight had been lifted.

All this time I believed my parent's only cared about me living up to my destiny of being a savior. At first, I was thrilled at the idea, but I quickly realized how childish it was, aspiring to be some kind of superhero. That desire died when the truth of my destiny was revealed to me in a dream.

Now I'd finally heard the words I'd wanted to hear from the beginning.

I had a choice! That bitter taste I grown so used to, was starting to disappear.

"But what if I can't, Mom." The words slipped out of my mouth before I even realized what I said.

Mom's laugh shocked me. She laughed so hard that she'd curled into her knees.

"Oh, my god! You really are my son, in more ways than one." She stopped laughing and grabbed my hand. A line was traced over my palm.

I saw her and Dad doing this to each other occasionally when they had private talks. I never understood what it meant.

"A straight line. You just go and you don't look back. My father passed this wisdom onto me when I was afraid. Then I passed it onto Kyle when he needed it most. And now, I pass it onto you so that it can be a reminder to never be scared of moving forward." She traced the line on my hand again, repeating the words.

I smiled. The words continued to echo in my mind all throughout the afternoon.

As silly as the advice sounded, it gave me hope.

I retrieved the game controller off the floor and held the home button so the console would turn on. The new dilemma was choosing what game to play. I could play a RPG or maybe a shooting game.

The knocks on my door put a hold on flipping through the extensive collection of Playstation games. I called out for the person to come in. Assuming it was Addy, I held out the other controller and offered to let her play with me.

"Does that offer still stand if it's me?"

Instead of my little sister it was my Dad.

My blank expression must have made him edgy because he started twitching with something in his pocket. He was always messing with something in his pocket whenever he got nervous.

I wondered what he kept in there.

"Sure, if you tell me what's in your pocket." Dad was surprised by the deal, but sat down on my bed. He took off his jacket and tossed it behind him.

A shooting game then.

I scooted back enough that I was leaning against the bed with Dad's legs next to me. While the screen loaded a silver object swung in front of my face.

"What's this?" Curious, I took the object and looked it over.

It was a pocket watch. A pretty nice one too, with roman numerals on the outside.

Why would Dad be carrying this ancient thing around? No one used things like this anymore with smartphones and all other kinds of technology around.

"Open it." He said.

I pushed the button at the top of the watch. A picture of my parents holding each other was inside. They were both smiling like two lovestruck dummys. I laughed a little seeing Mom's expression. It was more likely to find a picture of her frowning than smiling, but she looked so comfortable. While Dad had never been afraid to show his feelings, Mom was always guarded with them. That seemed backwards when I thought about it. Dad was the one who lived in a desolate world. He was the one that should have been a hard-ass.

"Back when we were... _dating_...Sarah insisted I replace that old photo I had of her. I gave in and replaced it, but the old one is still framed in our room…it's what started everything." He absentmindedly combed through my hair like he did with Addy. "Man, you need a haircut."

I ignored that.

"But what about this watch? Nobody has stuff like this anymore." I handed it back to him along with a controller.

"She didn't want me stuffing the photo in my pocket like I was doing before, so she got me something to put it in. A locket wasn't ideal so a watch was the next best thing. It makes carrying the photo around a lot easier. I don't have to worry about it getting damaged."

We specialized our characters. We were ready for the field. It was time to see who could kill the most soldiers.

I usually won on account of the fact that I played video games more than he did and had better coordination. I figured since he had combat experience he'd do a little better with a shooting game, but he always complained that it was too difficult for him to manage all the buttons and pay attention.

I was surprised he lasted so long against terminators, judging how bad of a shot he was in video games.

"Whenever you get nervous, you start messing with that watch, which has a photo of Mom. And you carry it around with you all the time. That's not creepy at all, Dad. You must have been a good stalker in the future."

Dad's leg pushed me over in retaliation. I took too many shots and had to duck for cover while my guy recovered.

"Geez, you're developing your Mom's humor."

We shot targets left and right. Currently, I was in the lead, but he was catching up. Dad was starting to get better at this game.

"John, about the other day…" Dad began after his character ended up getting shot by a sniper.

I paused the game to look at him.

He patted the spot next to him. "I don't want to look down at you."

I got up and sat next to him. He struggled to continue speaking.

"It's alright Dad, you don't have to say anything." I grabbed his broad shoulder and squeezed like he'd do for me for reassurance.

I wasn't upset anymore about my parent's expectations of the future. Mom must have already told him what I'd said in the car.

Dad patted my hand. "No, I have say this to you. You need to understand…I love you, Johnny. You're not a replacement to me and you'll never be. You and John are two different people. You're my clever son that likes reading and going out on the boat in the lake. You're always walking around the house, humming the Elton John songs your Mom crammed in your head. You run down the steps two at a time, no matter how many times we keep telling you not to. But most importantly, you cry when you want to, you laugh when you want to, you smile when you want to, and you love when you want to. All these things make you, who you are, Johnny. And I'd never change any of that."

Dad hugged me. I felt calm and happy from his speech.

"John was different. He raised me. He taught me how to fight. He gave me hope. All those years I was with him, he led a tired and edgy life. The resistance was always fighting, desperately trying to survive each day and that weighed on him. John first and foremost, always had to be a leader. To be someone people could depend on. It was a lonely life for him and I know you've seen it." The happy baritone in his voice turned regretful in an instance. Memories of my other self always depressed him.

"But I..he had you, Dad." I corrected myself.

Like he said, we were two different people with very different lives. It wouldn't be fair to compare us anymore.

"Yeah, you're right. I didn't know at first why he picked me, but I always wanted to be there for him. John allowed me to see what was beneath the legend. He was a man just like anyone else, with fears and hopes…I remember when I asked him what he planned on doing after the war. He didn't really have an answer other than having a cold beer. The idea of a world without war just didn't exist in his mind and that...that upset me." Dad paused, rubbing his eyes. "This man that had given so much for everyone else, couldn't even imagine a future for himself...then that distant future was taken by the enemy. Skynet turned John into what he'd spent his whole life fighting, a machine."

He ducked his head in shame.

"I failed him, Johnny. And I will never forgive myself for that. He trusted me and wanted me to understand him, but I turned him away because he became the enemy…I was the worst father to him…I couldn't save John, but I can save you. I can do right by you." His head lifted. "I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't care. The pain of John's fate still hurts me to this day and sometimes...I look at you and remember that pain. But no more. I won't let that hold me back from being the best father I can be for you. I swear it! You're my family now and the most important thing in the world to me."

I hugged him.

"I love you too, Dad." All this had gotten to me and I ended up shedding a few tears. He chuckled and rubbed my back.

Just like him, there was nothing more important to me than my family and that would never change.

* * *

"Kyle…he still cares!" I mumbled, trembling with emotion. This body was feeling too many things right now, it was entirely juvenile.

I leaned against the tree that was fast becoming a repeated vantage point for spying. Kyle was on the porch by himself, staring a photo that I assumed was of my mother.

That man would always be lovesick for Sarah Connor. Perhaps that was an unchangeable fate.

I had been watching him and little John for the past week, planning when I would attack them. Each time I came here with the intention of destroying that cabin and everyone in it, something prevented me from following that course of action.

Why couldn't I just kill them already?!

Adam had already begun his assault on the world, determined to end the race of humanity. The machines were beginning to rise again.

I felt something wet roll down my cheeks. Horrified, I reached up and found myself crying.

Why was I crying?!

I was too evolved for such meaningless reactions, only the weak cried!

These weren't tears of sadness for their upcoming deaths. No this was something more...

"I can't kill him…not now." I concluded.

My tears were of joy, not rage, sadness, or betrayal. My mind finally accepted that these emotions were positive echos from the past.

I was happy. I was happy because Kyle loved me. No, he still loved me as a father would love a son. I would never regain the love I once knew from my mother though. The Sarah of this timeline rejected me.

The machine in me wanted to end to Kyle. To destroy the thing causing me to deviate. The human part wanted to rejoice and bask in the love my father was so willing to give out. The two forces conflicted with one another.

Which one was right?!

"Dad." I called out.

A twig snapped under my foot and Kyle jumped at the noise. He pulled a gun out, slowly edging towards the origin of the noise. I hid behind another tree. The human heart still imbedded in my chest began a frantic pace. If it weren't for me being part machine, the overdrive on my heart would have killed me.

"Who's there? I see your footprints in the ground. I know you're still here. Come out!" Kyle inched closer to where I was.

I debated on my next course of action. Would I finally kill Kyle and end his existence before the horrors began?

My heart clenched at the thought. No I couldn't kill him!

He was getting closer. I adjusted my dark blue suit and stepped out of the shadows.

"Hey, Dad." I opened my arms out wide, remembering how overjoyed Kyle was to see me in the hospital all those years ago.

"John!" Kyle lowered his gun and stared at me in complete shock.

The moonlight lit both our faces with it's eerie light.

"What, no hug?"


	6. It's Really Me

"…Yle..Kyl..Kyle, open your eyes." The voice I heard was muffled and distorted. My head felt fuzzy and hurt.

There was something ringing in the background.

What happened to me? Where was I? What was going on?!

"I know you hear me, Kyle. I can see your vitals have spiked, so open your eyes." The voice was soft, but it sounded as if it was coming from everywhere.

Opening my eyes, I was overwhelmed by light. I groaned and blinked until the light dimmed enough for me to see clearly.

"John?" My voice sounded raspy.

In front of me was my old commander, my friend…my son. At least, that was what I believed before he was taken by Skynet and made into a weapon to destroy humanity. The last time I saw him, he was engaged in an all out brawl with Pops. How was he here when Pops had been adamant that John was terminated by the time machine?

My questions were put on hold by my coughing fit. I must have suffered a head injury as well from the constant throbbing.

"Here, take this. I might've hit you a little too hard when I knocked you out. Sometimes I forget how fragile human bodies are, now that I've evolved." John leaned forward in his chair and pushed a pill towards my lips. I refused it out of habit.

Back when I first joined the resistance I refused any kind of drug due to the horrific interrogation methods Skynet used on humans in the work camps.

"It's aspirin, Kyle. If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't have brought you here."

I stared into John's sincere blue eyes and let my guard down. I accepted the pill and bottle of water. Some of the pain was muted as the pill slowly took effect. With my mind clearing I took my surroundings in. I was chained to chair in some factory.

Just great, I always ended up some gloomy warehouse. Wouldn't be surprised if a terminator showed up and tried to kill me.

John knew what I was thinking from the sound of his chuckles. He relaxed in his chair and assured me no one else would be coming. His mocking smile only put me on edge.

I wasn't used to this kind of personality from him.

"How are you alive, John? And why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?" My intense frown stopped John's chuckles, but he continued smiling as if this was all some big joke.

I supposed it was in a way.

John was meant to be the savior of humanity and yet his purpose had been corrupted. He'd become the anti-savior.

Why did it have to be him of all people?

"I'm alive because this body is still primarily human. When your old relic contained me in the time machine, all he managed to do was send me through time. And since my body isn't completely machine I survived the trip. Thus, here I am." John's smile slowly fell as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. His expression became a mixture of confusion and anger, as if he couldn't understand something. "I originally wanted to kill you. I wanted to annihilate you and Sarah for turning your backs on me. I offered you a life we never had in any of our lives and yet, you rejected me. Sarah, I could understand to a degree. She doesn't know me. But you, Kyle..I expected…no I hoped you'd be different, especially after you learned the truth about me."

It was like my talk with Johnny all over again. All the regret I felt over John's fate came back in waves.

I shook my head, wishing this conversation wouldn't start again. I could hear myself saying no without meaning to. The shaking ended when John yanked my face towards him and insisted I look at him. My blue eyes met his and saw the red glow of a terminator.

"John, I would never have abandoned you. I would have followed you into hell itself if you asked…but you became the very evil we were fighting against! You changed! You're not John, you're a machine." I struggled to talk with the pressure on my jaw.

The fierce grip and red eyes reminded me that underneath the human skin, he was a creation of Skynet. Deep inside of John there was a monster, demanding my blood.

That monster had taken my son from me.

"Machines don't have a heart! You're a terminator, they always try to get close to their targets. So close that when the blade finally pierces their target's heart, they just pull it out and move onto the next target without even sparing a thought for the life they ended. That's what they do! That's what you're programmed to do, John!" I could feel anger bursting from my chest and it was aimed at John, at the machine inside of him.

The red faded from his eyes as he took a deep breath to stop his trembling hand from squeezing the life out of my neck. He retracted his hand and went completely still.

"I..I would never had hurt you, Kyle. From the day I found you alone and scared in that sewer, I have always tried to keep you safe…but you abandoned me. Again."

That caught my attention and I looked at him in confusion. John's eyes went red again. The chair arms cracked from his grip.

"What're you talking about?! I never left your side. I was your right-hand." My ignorance on the matter deepened the scowl on John's face.

"I'm not referring to the future, nor even this timeline...no. My pain comes from a different life." John hissed.

Images of a life I never lived flashed in my mind. A memory of a younger Pops dying alongside me in an explosion. I could feel the heat of that fire on my skin.

In that life I died.

"But that wasn't me...you're judging me for something I haven't done." The memory made me shudder in fear.

"It doesn't matter if it was a different life, the pain and loss I felt is still real. You weren't there when I was a child! Where were you when I needed you growing up? Where were you when my mother and I were constantly running for our lives, trying to end the war? Where were you when I needed a father?" At this point John had sprung up from his position. The action sent the chair flying into a rail. "You were dead, Kyle! I tried to save you from your fate and instead you repay me by impregnating my mother with a replacement. That boy will never live up to the name, John Connor!"

His face screamed of anger and hurt. I had never seen an expression like this on him.

"Don't talk about Sarah or Johnny like that. He is not a replacement, he is his own person. Just as you are! And don't act like you had nothing to do with the fact you never had a father growing up! You willingly sent me back into the past, knowing that I would die and didn't say anything about it! You could have prevented that death! Instead, you lied to me and kept me in the dark about everything." We were both allowing all the years of hurt, anger, and betrayal to come out. Words that I never imagined I'd say were coming out of my mouth. "How much of it was real John?! Did you really care or were you just ensuring your survival?"

I remembered Sarah telling me how I'd die and John's role in it. I wanted to believe in better truth, that no matter what, John genuinely cared about me.

Those days as each other's best friends had to be real!

"I never lied to you! I didn't tell you anything because it had to be your choice. _Choice_! That's your gift, Kyle. I was always meant to become the savior of the world. There was never any other alternative for me. And my poor mother was forced to toss her dreams away to prepare me for my destiny, all alone. Without the man she had fallen in love with." John's yelling quieted to low whisper. "I saw the tears she cried at night for that loss. I heard her screams from nightmares of the future. And I watched as she had to make all those sacrifices, all the horrible things she had to do for our survival. You don't know anything! You have no idea what it was like having everything a normal child is entitled to, stolen. All I received for all this was an adult's responsibility, protecting a desolate wasteland of corrupted and savage humans. Not once, did I ever have any chance of deciding my own path!"

"Until now." John stopped his mad pacing and reverently raised his hand. The skin morphed into the cold metal of his terminator form. His entire figure disappeared as the machine behind the man emerged. "I once despised Skynet because it stole my life from me, but now I see it differently. Project Genisys has given me the opportunity to change the course of history. Together, we're going to create a new path for humanity. No more fate! No more destiny! Those words are obsolete now."

John's body morphed back to his regular form.

"Genisys was destroyed. We demolished that entire building." I stated.

The thought of Skynet still existing sent a chill throughout my body. Everything I fought for would be destroyed if that technology still existed.

I couldn't let anything happen to my family. Not now. Not when I had finally grasped a sense of true happiness.

"You destroyed a computer, not the core. See, you're so predictable. I expected that you and Sarah would follow the soldier's tactic of blowing the building. I planned ahead for that. The core of Genisys is safely hidden beneath the ocean, where you'll never reach." John's mocking smile from before returned. Those blue eyes were sparkling with hidden mirth.

I replaying the explosion in my mind going over every detail, hoping that this was all a lie.

"Genisys has uploaded it's AI throughout the world. Drip by drip, the ripples that have been created from the chaos it's started. But I should stop referring to the AI as an 'it'. Project Genisys became so much more than I expected. Adam has learned so much from us. He even took a hybrid form like myself. Funnily enough, he chose the same form that attacked me in the future." John's face hovered near mine. "Adam and I are the next step in evolution."

He appeared more machine than man from how empty his eyes looked. Skynet had changed him.

This was the other side of greatness. The side that gave way to madness.

"So you're going to wipe out the inferior humans, right? How typical that machines always think they're superior. You're nothing more than cold logic and brute force." My sarcastic reply made John chuckle and pat me on the shoulder like I was a child.

"Absolutely not, we're going to improve it by making them all like us."

"What?!" I shouted, heart skipping in shock from this revelation.

"Yes. Adam and I are going to make a select portion of humans into hybrids like us, the rest…well they'll be in a better place…and since I find myself unable to kill you, you're going to be the first one I change." John walked towards a table.

When he turned back around he was holding a syringe in his hand. The sight of the needle made me cringe. I hated needles, especially after the horrors I endured in the work camp. John continued stalked closer to me, prepping the needle. My panic continued to rise. The idea of being turned into a terminator disgusted me. Out of desperation, I struggled with the bindings on the chair.

"Don't resist. I'll be completely gentle with you, unlike how Adam was with me. Soon you'll be just like me and then you'll truly be my Dad. Just like I always wanted." John softly smiled.

If this was his way of trying to comfort me, then it wasn't working!

I could see the nano machines radically moving around in the syringe. Bile rose up my throat.

I couldn't let this happen. I'd rather die than become a machine! Being chained to Skynet both physically and mentally was a fate worse than death itself!

I thought about the people I'd be leaving behind if this happened. Sarah, my beautiful and strong wife, that acted like a fire-raging queen. Johnny, my gentle son, who was meant for a simple life of peace. Addy, my little princess, that I'd never be able watch try on dresses or read fairytales with. Pops, that old bat that somehow grew on me. Even goofy O'Brien who always called to check on us every now and again and sent presents for the kids. All those people would no longer mean anything to me once those nano machines infiltrated my body. I wouldn't be able to control myself if Skynet gave an order to kill them.

"John, I know you're still in there! Please, Don't do this! You said you're not a machine, right? Then show me right now that you're still John Connor. Show me you're still my son!" My pleas fell on deaf ears as John stuck the needle into my neck.

Tears gathered in my eyes as all the faces of the people I loved flash before me.

He couldn't do this to me!

"I'm doing this because I'm your son, Kyle…the only son that matters to you."

 


	7. Still After Us

"Where is my Husband?!" Mom screamed in frustration and tossed the maps off the table. She was extremely pissed and edgy right now, constantly cocking her gun as if she was going to shoot something. I'm surprised she hadn't shot something already. Target practice had always been therapeutic for her since Pops had been drilling her how to use them since she was a child.

"I am unable to identify the whereabouts of Kyle Reese. There have been no signs of him from any cameras throughout the city nor have there been any descriptions or sightings of him on the web from any usual incidents. Kyle Reese has simply disappeared. I have also contacted Detective O'Brien to assist our search, but he does not have any leads either." Pops was meticulously picking up all the items Mom had knocked off the table and placing them back in their original places. Pops answer didn't make Mom feel any better, she collapsed in a chair exhausted, emotionally and physically. We had been searching for Dad for two days now, with no leads at all. Mom had tried to appear nonchalant about it at first, but that facade quickly fell when Pops couldn't find Dad in any of usual places.

I had never seen my mom as freaked out and stressed as she was now. I was worried too, but somehow I just knew Dad was alright wherever he was.

"Mommy, when is Daddy coming home?" Addy was in even worse shape than Mom, she hadn't stopped crying since Pops told her Dad was gone. I had her in my lap right now and I was trying to get her stop crying by rubbing her back. Mom hated it whenever one of us cried. Soldiers don't cry she said. I've never seen my Mom cry before and I don't think I ever will. Or at least I hope I never have too. Seeing tears from the toughest woman I know, would break me.

"I..I don't know Adele. Now stop crying. You're a Connor and we don't cry." Mom pushed her reddish hair out her face and tiredly put it up in a ponytail. Addy stopped her tears, but angrily pouted at Mom. Sensing a tantrum coming from Addy, I got up from the chair with her in my arms and went to the fridge to get her a popsicle. Like any child Addy quickly forgot why she was upset and happily took the push pop ice cream I gave her. While Mom and Pops were discussing what they were going to do, I set Addy down on the chair and kneeled down to her height so I could see her eyes.

"Johnny, why is Mommy so mean all the time? She's always yelling at you and me all the the time. Why can't she be more like Daddy? Why isn't Daddy here to play tea party with me?" Addy was sulkily licking the push pop while she was talking to me. If the conversation weren't so serious, I would have laughed at how cute she was with her wavy blonde hair and puffy cheeks. I always loved being around my baby sister. She was a reminder that a normal life was possible. To me, she represented everything still pure and untouched in this world. She could see the world clearly, unlike the rest of of the Connor family, who were stuck with memories of dual lives. To her, life would always just be about tea parties, games, and laughter. I wanted her to stay that way, so she'd never have to see the world like I do.

"Addy, Mom is scared, but she doesn't want you to know that. That's why she's acting a little edgy right now. She just wants to find Dad and bring him home." I gently smiled at her, hoping she drop the attitude towards Mom. I admit, Mom was being a little harsh, but that's just how it would always be with her. Tough love. Mom was raised to be a fighter before anything else and that made her reserved with her emotions, even with her family, as sad as that was. The only person I really saw her be completely open with was Pops. I suppose she'd always feel more comfortable around him than anyone else because he was programmed solely for her.

"She still doesn't have to be so mean about it. I miss Daddy too." Addy stopped pouting and turned her attention away from me. Following her gaze, I saw Cain twitching and lowering his body towards the door.

"Johnny what's wrong with my dog?" Addy dumped her half-eaten treat on the table and jumped down from the chair. She ran over to Cain and started petting the dog to calm him. She must have thought he was getting agitated from the shouting from Mom. Cain only got more hostile and started loudly barking at the door.

"Something's wrong." I stood up with the intention of getting Addy. Cain had only ever madly barked like this at Pops when he got a little older. Cain could sense that Pops was different from us and would bark whenever he came near any of us. Dad thought it was the funniest thing that our resident puppy could sniff out a terminator. Eventually Cain had stopped barking at Pops after getting used to seeing him in the house all the time.

"Sarah Connor, protect your offspring." I heard Pop's voice and then felt something push me back with inhuman strength. I violently hit the table, knocking it over. Pops doesn't know his own strength. Seconds later I heard bullets being fired and screams from Addy.

"John!" Once again I felt myself being manhandled, by my mother this time. I was being dragged out the house towards the garage. All around me bullets were flying and the ground was shaking from the massive impacts of strength from Pops. I saw the one thing I had been dreading all my life. There was a terminator fighting with Pops in front of our house. There was something strange about this terminator though. I ended up stopping to stare at it. I could hear my mom yelling at me to come on, but I couldn't move.

"Why is she so familiar?" The terminator was a female model. She was tall and shapely with sandy blonde waves. I couldn't really see her face, but my gut was telling me she was important. Suddenly she grabbed Pops by the jaw and smashed him into the ground, keeping him in place with her foot. The terminator then turned towards me and I found myself staring into bright shinning blue eyes. The blue eyes were just like the shinning red I saw from the terminators in my dreams, but these eyes weren't radiating death like the others, they were full of life.

"John Connor I must speak with you and your mother." As she was talking, Mom had put Addy down and stood in front of me with her gun pointed at the terminator.

"You're not getting anywhere near my son. Now let Pops go! Now!" Mom tried to push me back away from the terminator, but I refused to move.

"I will let your protector go, if you allow me to speak with you Sarah Connor." Pops managed to turn his head and tell Mom it was an error to listen to her. In response to Pop's warning, the terminator pushed Pop's head further into the ground.

"Wait! How do I know you won't just kill us. What's your mission?" Mom hesitantly stepped forward with her gun still cocked, ready to fire at a moments notice.

"My mission is to stop Adam, the AI created from Genisys. But first we must reacquire Kyle Reese." At the mention of my father, Mom lowered her gun.

"Kyle. You know where he is?"

The terminator removed her foot from Pop's head and slowly walked towards Mom. Now I could clearly see her face and I was shocked at the face the terminator had taken.

"Addy!? Why do you have my sister's face?" Mom heard me and looked down at me like I lost my mind. My little sister had come running towards me, when she heard me call her name and took my hand. I looked back and forth between my little sister and the terminator. This machine was an older version of my sister. They had the same wavy sandy blonde hair, the same blue eyes, and the same scrunching nose. How was this possible.

"That is the name associated with this form, but I have a different name. I am Eve and I have come to stop the war before it begins." My sister's terminator crossed her arms and stared at my Mom, waiting for her to put her gun away. She even had Addy's attitude.

"Just great, more time traveling terminators. It never ends with us, does it?" Mom complained.

* * *

"John! Please don't do this!" My final plea must have been heard by someone. As John was just about to push the handle, a bullet hit him right in the chest. A few more bullets joined the first one, pushing John back away from me. The needle thankfully tumbled from his hand and shattered as it hit the ground. I felt myself letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I wasn't going to become a machine. I stopped struggling when I heard the most beautiful voice. It was like hearing dragons sing.

"Kyle! Oh Kyle, I'm so glad I made it in time." Sarah had come from behind me and pulled out a knife, cutting the bindings. I was so happy to see her that I could kiss her, right here and now. As she was helping me, John recovered from the shots and stood back up.

"Oh Mom, it'll take more than your bullets to stop me. And right now I'm not in the mood to play since you just wasted the machine matter." The nano machines started moving towards John as he raised his hand and absorbed them. John adjusted his suit and tauntingly walked towards us. Sarah wasn't done cutting the binds, she still needed to get my feet. I tried to push her away, but she just flicked my hand away.

"Now Pops!" Sarah shouted. Suddenly, Pops and some other woman came out with heavy artillery. The rapid shots the two were firing kept pushing John back away from us. Sarah used the distraction to quickly cut the rest of the bindings. Free from the bindings I quickly stood up and grabbed Sarah, running into the hallway she led me to.

"Sarah how did you find me? And who was that woman with Pops? Did he get a girlfriend or something." As we were running together I could almost ignore all the gunshots and fighting and just imagine we were running by the lake, hand in hand. Sarah had gotten a little taller over the years, but she still barely reached my shoulders. Her beautiful red brown hair was swinging back and forth as she was running beside me. Knowing I was so close to losing her and my kids, made me want to hold on to them even more. We made a few turns and finally made it out of the warehouse. It was night time and it was starting to drizzle.

"Ah, that's a story for when we get out of here. She's an ally. She helped lead us to you. I'd have never found you without Eve." I was going to reply to her, but I saw something coming at her head out of the corner of my eye. I yanked her forward so that we fell to the ground. A sharp blade of metal went flying past. A second later and Sarah would have lost her head.

"You're not getting getting away from me Kyle! I'm not letting you leave." John was speeding towards us from the hallway. I quickly pulled Sarah up and started running.

"Where the hell is the car?!" Sarah was wildly looking around. Who else could have moved the car if Pops and that terminator were fighting John?...She didn't.

"Please tell me you didn't bring our kids with you." Sarah guiltily looked back at me. "Are you crazy Sarah! They could get killed!"

"I couldn't leave them in the house by themselves. What if whoever John's working with attacked them?" Sarah's logic eased some of the anger from me. It was a danger to leave them alone, but it was also a danger to bring them with her. Well at least this way we could both keep an eye on them.

"Kyle!" John had managed to catch up to us while we were standing arguing. I felt like a truck rammed into me, but it was just John. I groaned in pain from the impact. Sarah tried to get to me, but John shoved her back. Once she hit the ground Sarah whipped her gun back out and started shooting John in the chest. John just stood and let the bullets hit him. He groaned a little, but the bullets were quickly pushed out of his body by the machine matter. I couldn't move at all. The impact made my head injury surge up again and it was difficult to breathe.

"Where's Pops and Eve?!" It looked like there were three Sarah's from some reason to me.

"Oh they're a little tied down…Wait, you said Eve. That's not really possible. That T-5000 shouldn't exist and she certainly should not be trying to help you…This changes things. I can't let her leave with you." I could see three Johns heading to Sarah. I wanted to move, but everything was spinning. In my confusion I saw a bright light approaching me and John.

"Dad!" One of the three Johns reached for me and tossed me out of the way of the light. I was getting tossed around a lot today. I heard a crash and metal shattering. That light must have belonged to a car. John tossed me so I wouldn't get hit. Despite him trying to turn me into a machine earlier, it touched me that John had saved me. My son was still in there, maybe I could still save him. I struggled to push myself up onto my knees to look for John.

"John!" I couldn't see him anywhere. I could smell Sarah's perfume as she came next to me and pulled me up. I wanted to tell her to stop so I could look for John. I could still help him. He wasn't lost yet. My voice was lost over the sound of multiple grenades going off. Pops had detonated them as a distraction for us to get away. Sarah and Pops helped me into the truck. I could see my kids in the front seat and that woman from before was driving. What in the world is she doing here? Sarah and John said her name was Eve. Once the truck was moving Pops and Sarah slammed the back shut. As the doors were closing, I could swear I saw John coming out of the flames. He was just watching us.

"Daddy you're finally back!" My waist was being squeezed by my tiny daughter and yet her grip was excruciatingly painful. Addy didn't seem to hear my grunts.

"Adele Connor it is not wise to touch Kyle Reese. He has three broken ribs and any contact with them affects his respiratory abilities." Addy pulled back from me in shock. I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Daddy's going to be just fine…Just try to be a little gentle with me, for now." I opened my arm on my uninjured side and let her curl up next to me. I could hear Johnny arguing with Sarah about wrapping her arm. She was so stubborn about the wrong things.

"So what crazy nonsense did I miss while gone?"

* * *

"Mr. Connor, what brings you to my apartment this late? You couldn't possibly be here to propose. Not when you're pinning after that pretty red head." I was standing in front of Olivia Howard's door. I had drove over here to her complex after the failure with Kyle.

Olivia was the cousin of my friend Danny Dyson and she had worked alongside me back when I first started working on Genisys. She was the closest thing to a friend I'd had after Kyle. Danny I had befriended out of obligation for his and his father's roles in creating Skynet. Olivia was different because I had no obligation to her. No past or future connections to her. She was a breath of fresh air to me because she was proof of all the new possibilities I had access to.

"Olivia, I need to speak to you about Genisys." Olivia's teasing smile fell when I brought up the subject of work. I quickly apologized to her. I knew how much she hated to have her work brought home.

"Well come on in then John. By the way you forgot to change your shirt." Olivia opened the door and let me into her apartment. Olivia went into the kitchen and started making what I assumed were drinks.

"What are you talking about Olivia?" I lazily sat down on her couch and cut the television off. I was going to need her full attention for this conversation.

"There are millions of bullet holes in your shirt, genius. If you're always going to be popping up at my place at random hours, you could at least try not to look like you came out of an accident or shoot out." Her snarky comment made me check my shirt. She was right. I had been in such a rush to get over here that I had forgotten to change my clothes. The immaculate suit I was wearing had tears, burns, and holes all over. Scoffing, I pushed the nano machines to change my attire. The destroyed suit changed into a casual dress shirt and sweater with jeans.

"Show off."

I chuckled at that. Olivia had finished making the drinks and sat on the opposite couch in front of me. She handed a glass to me.

"I have no idea why you feel the need to always give me drinks or food, when you know I don't need them." I accepted the glass of wine and relaxed into the couch. Chugging the wine in one go, I watched Olivia slowly drink hers. Olivia really was a very attractive woman. She was a bit lighter in skin tone than Danny, but shared his midnight black hair and light hazel eyes. They may be cousins, but they could pass for siblings. Olivia's voice lured me out of my trance.

"You can't fool me, John Connor...I give it to you because you still crave human interaction. You don't want to be treated like a machine. For all your talk of being evolved, you suffer from the most human emotion, loneliness." I was shocked by what she said. Olivia had finished her drink. That knowing smile on her face unnerved me. I didn't like that this woman could always see through me, but at the same time, I found myself drawn to it. She was never afraid of me, even when she found out about me. The thought of this, human affecting me like this drove the machine in me mad with fury.

"Enough…I came here to ask you about the programs we ran with Genisys." The relaxed demeanor I had from before was gone and replaced by severity.

"What about it? Adam was the only successful experiment. He became an AI just like you wanted John…Is something wrong with him?" Olivia began nervously tapping her foot. I could only imagine she was worried about Adam going offline. It was funny how attached Olivia was to him. While she did help me create the coding and essentially could be described as Adam's "Mother", he felt no such loyalty to her.

"This isn't about Adam. This is about the other experiment. I want to know what you've been doing with Eve." Olivia looked confused when I brought up Eve.

"John, you know as well as I do, that Eve never passed any of the tests. Every time I tried to upload her like Adam, she crashed. Adam is the only AI online."

I scratched at the side of my face where my scar used to be. This wasn't possible. How was that T-500 here then. It coming from the future was entirely possible, but having Eve downloaded into the terminator was impossible. This was going to set their plans back. Neither one of us was expecting anymore time traveling interference, especially not from another terminator.

"You and I are going to have to go check on Adam tomorrow." I sighed and leaned back on the couch. Time travel made my head hurt.

"Sure, it's not like it was my day off tomorrow." Sarcasm really was Olivia's greatest charm.

"Don't worry, I'll be sure to make it up to you." I heard Olivia shuffling around. She was probably getting another glass of wine. Dealing with me did come with a high level of stress and alcohol had a great way of relieving that stress.

"So how's it going with Mrs. Katherine? I never took you for the type to go after married women." Olivia did indeed return back to the couch with another glass of wine and the bottle. She offered to pour me another glass, but I just took the whole bottle.

Thoughts of Kate depressed me. I had wanted to find her when I first came here, but chose not to. I didn't want to be involved with her. Yet somehow we ended meeting despite my best efforts to avoid her. I thought that meant she was supposed to be with me, even though I wasn't the same. I tried to get close to her.

Kate didn't think much of me. A crazy creep. That's what she thought, every time I tried to talk to her. Worse she was engaged. When I found out who the man was, I wanted to kill him. He was the reason she was rejecting me. I had it all planned. Kill him while Kate was at work. It was simple, all I had to was use some of my nano machines and force them down his throat. Everyone would think he just choked to death and Kate would be free. Before I went through with it, I wanted to talk to her one more time. I wanted to change her mind about me. I told her about the future I had lived and her role in it and even about the past I had been brought to. I even showed her the phase matter, hoping she'd believe. She screamed at me to never come near her again. I could handle that part. She said that she'd never willingly be with me, that the Kate I knew hadn't chosen me, she'd been forced with me because of fate telling her to. I couldn't handle that part. Kate rejected me then ran away. I never approached her again after that, only watched from afar.

Did I ever truly know what love was growing up? Everyone in my life had been placed there by fate and were unable to choose anything different, lest they destroy the path to the future. My mother had no choice. I had no choice. Kyle had no choice. Kate had no choice. I really am as empty and lonely as a machine. The nano machines were agitatedly moving around in response to my dark thoughts. I finished the bottle of wine and lounged back on the couch. This was one of those moments where I'd be glad to not have any of my previous memories from before I was changed. The clarity of a blank slate would have been a blessing right now.

"Don't get me started on how complicated everything is Liv."


	8. Terminator Tangle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How could let yourself get kidnapped and almost killed!? You stupid, ignorant, dumbass…" My mother's livid voice was followed with her aggressive smacks to my father's arms and his pained cries for her to stop.

"Language Sarah Connor. Your offspring are present with us and such language is not wise to pass on." Pops was attending to dad's wounds and patching him up. Pops stopped his work to sternly glance at mom. "I would also request that you stop intentionally injuring your spouse."

Mom glared at Pops and gave Dad one final slap before huffing and slamming down into her seat next to him. Addy was in my lap again and was laughing at Mom and Dad. She thought it was funny that Mom was expressing her undying love for Dad by kicking his butt. We were all together in a rundown house from one of Grandpa O'Brien's old contacts. Soon he'd be over here with us as well. Dad said we needed to begin planning an offensive once again against Skynet.

Our worst fear had come true. Skynet survived. The life that I always saw in my dreams was going to come true now. My family was slowly going to die out from the machines never ending assault only, history had been changed from the actions of my parents and like ripples in a pond their actions have changed the future. In a way I'm glad they changed it, but now I have no way of knowing what's going to happen to us. I have no way of knowing how to save them if I don't know how they're going to die. The anxiety of their deaths hanging in the air bothers me to no end and worse I have Addy, who wasn't accounted for in our lives at all. I have to do something to save them. I'm going to save my family. I'm not going to be like John, it's the few who matter to me, not the whole. Humanity can find another savior, but I can't find replacements for my family.

"So are you finally going to tell us who sent you back Eve? You helped me get my husband back, but that doesn't mean I trust you, Machine." Mom had finally stopped her tirade on Dad. She was standing in front of Dad, blocking him from Eve. After we almost lost Dad earlier today, Mom was hovering over him like a agitated dragon protecting a wounded bear. Pops had stopped working on Dad and was giving Eve a hard stare. He was probably calculating how much of a threat she was to us.

"How hypocritical you are, Sarah Connor. You hate machines and yet the man you see as a surrogate father is a machine. I don't understand your misplaced hatred for me. If anything, because of your feelings for your T-800 you should be more considerate towards my kind." Eve was casually sitting on a ragged couch, twisting a strand of her wavy blonde hair. Her words were cold and calculated, but from her posture and actions I got the feeling she was being snide with Mom.

"Look here you cocky bit-" Mom pulled her handgun out at Eve.

"Language Sarah Connor." Pops droned.

Mom rolled her eyes at Pops, but she didn't lower her gun.

"Pops has always been by my side and not once has he betrayed me and nor will he ever. I can trust in the fact that his mission is to protect me…You, you're too advanced, you're like John and worse you have my daughter's face. I can't trust you and I'll never trust you. You don't have a singular mission like Pops. You could just be bidding your time, leading us to Skynet for the slaughter. I won't let you take anymore of my family." Mom's grip on the gun got tighter as she spoke.

"No. It's not a matter of missions that scares you. It's the fact that machines like me have the free will to choose. Unlike your T-800, I can think and feel all on my own and that's what scares you." Eve got up from the couch and started walking towards Mom.

"You are full of contradictions. I recall young Adele Connor telling Adam and I stories of you fighting for the chance to choose your own path. And yet you reject the very idea of choice. It is simply absurd how complex you humans are." Eve stopped directly in front of Mom's gun, waiting for her to pull the trigger. Mom's shaking hand was pushed down by Dad. Mom looked up at him in shock, but Dad was only looking at Eve.

"Well if you can choose, why are you are choosing to help us. Skynet has always hated humans." Dad asked.

My chest tightened at the idea that Pops might actually hate us.

"I choose to help you now because I believe that together we can change the future. The future doesn't have to be machines against humans. Together, we can show the world a better path." Eve turned towards Dad and smiled at him. This smile was hopeful.

"Do you really mean that Eve? Is there a way that all of us can live together without the war." I stood up and put Addy down despite her protests. When I was in front of Eve she leaned down and patted my head. I'm sure of it, she's not an enemy.

"Yes Johnny, I'm sure of it. There's one thing that I've learned from humans and that is their uncompromising ability for hope…But first we must eliminate the one common thread in all the timelines." Eve's eyes had become the brightest shade of blue I've ever seen before ,they are so different from the red of the terminators from my dreams.

"You're talking about Skynet." Mom came over and yanked me away from Eve. She really doesn't trust her. Eve turned back to Mom and the calm aura she had before was replaced by annoyance.

"No, Sarah Connor. As I said before it is not Skynet you should be worried about, it is my twin program, Adam."

Dad looked mildly uncomfortable when she said that.

"You keep talking like Skynet is a person and now you're referring to yourselves like your siblings. You're not. Skynet is an AI that makes machines and causes Judgement Day. It's not human and you're not human." Mom was getting irritated again.

"Sarah, come on you saw the AI at Cyberdyne and it's not impossible with the technology this era has to make a body for Skynet to upload into. Besides John confirmed what she's saying. He said he was working with someone named Adam. Who, we now have to assume is the same as the man from my time…And that program grew and evolved right before our eyes." Dad calmly held onto Mom to keep her from attacking Eve.

Mom just stared at Dad until she turned away from him.

"So what are we dealing with then? An AI or…Some kind of hybrid like John." Mom shoulders slumped in defeat. She didn't want to start another argument with Dad. They used to argue a lot and it would always be about what happened with John.

"You say those two things like they're separate entities when in fact they are effectively the same." Eve droned on like Pops

"Oh god, she talks just like Pops. Am I going to have to install an off button on her too?" Dad's tired sigh almost made me laugh. We think alike.

"We do not speak in a complicated manner, you are just too simple minded, Kyle Reese." Pop's comment made me snort to try and cover up my laugh. Addy, however had no problem giggling at Pop's insult. He sure had come a long way in personality for a machine.

"I can't believe Pops just insulted me. What is this world coming to?" Dad's face was a mixture of amusement and irritation.

"What I am saying is that the entire goal of infecting you humans with the nano machines is to create the perfect terminator, that can operate like a machine, but think like a human. Eventually the nano machines replaces every part of the body and the CPU from the host is uploaded into the human. Theoretically there is no difference between John Connor and Adam other than the models." Eve explained.

"So John really is lost to us then…He's the enemy, again." Mom said.

"He isn't the enemy! Didn't you see him push me away from the car Sarah? Why would a machine save it's target?" Dad snapped at Mom's comment.

"Kyle we're not going to start this again! He tried to kill you. He might not have held a gun to your head, but he tried to turn you into a machine. That's just as bad!…If I hadn't gotten there in time…Kyle, I wouldn't…I wouldn't have been able to shoot you…Not you Kyle." Dad reached out to Mom, but she turned away from him and went over to Pops. Dad looked really hurt from that. Why wouldn't Mom just let us in?

"He doesn't have to be the enemy. He can change. I can bring him back." Eve's voice was just a whisper, but Dad heard her.

"What do you mean? Is there some way to save him? Did we save him in the future?"

"You didn't do anything." Eve shot Dad down. "If you want to save John Connor then he must be saved by himself. Then I can begin the reconfiguration process." Eve was directly looking at me now.

"What! How in the world can I save him. I'm just a kid. Shouldn't it be Dad who can help him?" I could feel a panic attack coming on. The weight of a great responsibility was falling onto to me again and I didn't like it. I'm just fine with sitting on the sidelines and letting Mom and Dad take care of everything. I don't really want to be involved with any of this, I don't have the skills that John does.

"It's okay Johnny, calm down okay. You're going to be just fine." Dad's large hands were massaging my tense shoulders. I could feel my ears burning in shame. I'm thirteen and I have panic attacks at the first signs of danger. I'm such a coward, there's no way I could ever be the world's savior.

"I know you think you're insignificant right now Johnny, but you will grow and you will become something great. It may not be the way you imagine, but you will achieve great deeds…First you must show John Connor that humanity is still worth fighting for and who better to teach him, then his younger self." Eve looked at me with such conviction. She was absolutely sure that I could do this.

"Are you saying all this because it's happened in the future. Did I…I mean do I really save him?" I pushed my hair out my face so I could clearly see Eve.

"No...No you couldn't save him or anyone else for that matter. In the time I come from you have lost everything. And now, if we do not stop this future from happening..You will lose everything, again and again and again. In every timeline Adam will bring humanity to its knees unless we stop him."

* * *

"Olivia, just how many cups of coffee are you going drink? I've already seen you chug two giant cups. Anymore and you're going crash from a caffeine overdose." Skipping ahead a bit so I could catch up with her, I saw her pass off a clipboard to a fellow employee.

She was already showing signs of being jittery. She kept reaching inside the pockets in her lab coat and taking the pens out only to rearrange them back in the pocket. Her bun had come undone as well and her brown hair messily flowed out over her back. I couldn't see her face right now since she was making it a point to keep ahead of me, but I'm sure her eyes are red. When I said she needed to come in to work with me, I didn't expect all these annoying flies to be buzzing around her. I already know she gets too overworked and I don't want to add on to that.

"John, I'm going to drink as many cups as it takes to keep me awake and focused to do this work today. I already have Adam rushing me to hurry and complete this project for him and now the military is being adamant about it too." Olivia was forced to a stop when another scientist stopped her.

We were preparing for Adam to upload Skynet into the military, on top of that, Olivia was overseeing the weapon manufacturing that Adam suggested. Well, he more or less ordered Olivia to start modifying the missiles he wanted to use, despite her not being a weapons technician. Adam didn't trust anyone else to be in charge since he couldn't take that position. Adam's cover for being apart of Cyberdyne was that he was a fellow scientist that I met back in college who helped me design Genisys. Since he wasn't involved in the beginning there was no way I could get Adam in charge of any of the projects of Genisys. Which meant either Olivia or I had to be his scapegoats.

"John, Adam is asking for us to meet him in the conference room." Olivia tugged on my arm to catch my attention. She really did look as exhausted as I expected. This was bringing up memories of her. Kate.

"And how do you know this?" I questioned.

Olivia shoved her phone in my face. I could see a bright screen with black bold little letters telling us to hurry up and get to the conference room.

"He sent me a text message. He's becoming so advanced in hacking into my phone now. Each time I put up firewalls, he breaks them down. I think he likes the challenge." Olivia was both amused and irritated at our mutual menace. 

I snorted at the contact name she had for him.

"Really? why would you list him as Baby Adam? I'm sure he doesn't appreciate that. That might be why he also implants viruses into your phone too." We both started walking to the elevator together after getting clearance from the guards.

"Well he really is a baby when you think about it. He may have that man's body, but he observes and questions everything around him just like a newborn does. And like you said those viruses he leaves on my phone are actions of a child." Olivia pulled out a hairband from one of her pockets and made a messy ponytail. Kate used to always do that too.

"Yes, a baby that's going to change the world." I followed her out and held open the conference door for her. Olivia gave me a tired smile and went in. She wasn't supposed to be tired and stressed, that's not what I wanted for her. Olivia, however insists on being involved and not being left in the shadows waiting for me. I could admire that in her, but it also irked me since she can't function on the same level as me. I wanted to give her something else then what Kate experienced with me, but would Olivia let me?

Would Olivia allow me to have those kinds of feelings for her when she's so closed off? The machine was roaring again. Love is a weakness. Weakness can be exploited. The man inside me wanted a second chance. A second chance to find someone on his own to stand by him. The thoughts were too conflicting for me. I ignored anymore thoughts on the matter when Adam ushered us in.

"Doctor Howard, Mr. Connor, please go ahead and take a seat."

As we entered, Adam was seated at the head of the conference table. He looked every bit like a king sitting on his throne. Did that make us his petty servants? Both of us took the opposite seats on his side.

"I see you've finally started taking my advice about blending in Adam. While that suit is definitely nice it isn't something you'd see a regular scientist wearing." Olivia leaned over and adjusted the tie on Adam's suit.

"Yes well, if I must blend in then I shall do it in a way that sets me above the common fodder that inhibits this facility." He swatted her hand away and fixed the tie himself.

"Now, Doctor Howard how is our latest project with the military coming along? I assume those mongrels are satisfied with the mechanics of my virus." Adam fixed an indifferent gaze on Olivia. As he waited for her to talk, he started drumming his fingers on the table. He was picking up a lot of habits from Olivia.

"It's going slow as you can imagine. We have to keep going back forth with them since they're not really convinced they need to use biochemical weapons to end wars over in the Middle East. They'd rather waste bullets and lives then shoot a gas at their enemies…But they have agreed on having your AI migrate with their systems." Olivia delivered her news.

Adam abruptly rose up from his chair and walked over to the window.

"I'm handling the coding so it should be done in a few more days. You only need to wait a little bit longer Adam." I said.

Adam nodded at my comment. He was set back from these events, but the future he envisioned was going to happen one or another. The war was between the Connors and us was going to start now.

"The future is what we make it, right John?" Adam quietly asked.

I couldn't see his face but from his voice I could surmise that he was crookedly smiling. The nostalgia hit me like a wave. I used to tell Kyle that whenever he had doubts about seeing another tomorrow.

"Now, John you must tell me what happened with your father."

 


	9. More Deep Thoughts

"I was interrupted before I could finish injecting my father with the nano machines." I leaned back in my chair with a scowl.

The fact that I had been taken by surprise irritated me beyond words. I had planned that scenario over and over in my head, expecting each one of Kyle's possible responses. If he continued to deny me as his son then I would still turn him, but our time together as partners would be different. I would have had made him change his allegiance by first eliminating that false family he cared so much about. First my mother would be eliminated. There would be no second chances for her, she would never come to accept me. I would never receive the love I once knew from her. Then those children would be next. My younger self would certainly need to be killed. I don't need to be reminded of what could have been for me. After my father was completely broken then he would willingly turn to me. Yet, I found myself abandoning that plan after he continued to try and reach out to the human in me. His time in this peaceful era had softened him in more ways than one. The amount of unconditional love he possessed touched me enough to make me hesitate.

"Who could have possibly stopped you or even have known where you were?" Adam's calculating gaze was on me. The idea of failure didn't register with him. This plan was supposed to have gone smoothly. The location was only privy to Adam and myself.

"There was a woman I didn't recognize with them."

"As if a mere female could pose such threat." Adam scoffed. Olivia in return glared at Adam for the obvious slight on her gender. Adam simply waved her off.

"Don't confuse brilliance with arrogance, Adam. I've explained the story of Daedalus and Icarus to you haven't I? Reach too close to the sun and you'll burn."Olivia chastised him. Adam rolled his eyes at her.

"As if a T-5000 could fly to the sun. What a ridiculous story you chose to tell me. I don't see why you're getting offended Olivia Howard. You have your uses in the field of science, otherwise I wouldn't even bother with you." Adam finished pacifying Olivia and turned back to me. "Now tell me about this woman."

Olivia was shocked by Adam's acknowledgement of her skills and slouched back in her seat to rub at her eyes in disbelief. It is strange to see the dynamic of their relationship sometimes. More often than not Adam would bring an "observation of humans" as he called it to Olivia and she would patiently answer him as she would a child. If her answer didn't satisfy him then he would bring the matter to me. The idea that Olivia and I were playing mother and father to him was ironic. My past life was absorbed in the goal of destroying him while my new life consisted of protecting and nurturing him. Other times it would seem that Adam was the parent and we the children. He would issue out orders for us to complete and we would carry them out to the best of our abilities. A failure would result in a severe reprimand and a success would result in gratuitous praise. My life has become a joke.

"Adam, This woman was just like you." I thought back on the woman. She appeared familiar in a way, but I couldn't place her.

"What do you mean she was like me? That is impossible." Adam was angered at the suggestion that there could possibly be another being like himself. Adam saw himself as perfection, a perfection that could not be copied. Another being with the same qualities as him would diminish his value.

"My scans read her a T-5000 and she was…" It pained me to continue my sentence. "More advanced and intelligent. She fought me as if she was toying with me and worse she knew me. She could predict everything I was going to do and countered it. I had a minimal chance of defeating her." The reminder of my defeat stung. I hadn't been so obviously overpowered since I was a human fighting off terminators. I didn't like feeling weak or vulnerable, the machine in me was supposed to negate those feelings.

"A machine that can best John Connor that isn't me. This is an unforeseen complication and I do not like complications. As I said before it is impossible for a T-5000 other than myself to exist in this time so I can only deduce that she is from the future. Which brings the question of who sent her back and why." The earlier rage he displayed had calmed and been replaced with his normal cold tranquility. Adam had left the window and came back to pace around Olivia and I, a habit he picked up from Olivia after she told him it helps her process her thoughts. To Olivia, Adam seemed harmless right now, but I knew for fact he was circling us like a predator getting ready to pounce. He was suspicious of the two of us.

"Is there anything else you were able to gather from this mysterious terminator?" Adam's cold blue eyes locked on mine while his hand landed on Olivia's chair. Unconsciously I let out a snarl at his actions. Threatening Olivia just based on a theory he had in order to get to me was a low blow for him. At this point Olivia was the only person who knew who and what I am and still accepted me. Acceptance from another person was a difficult thing to obtain. My entire childhood was spent desperately trying to get my mother's acceptance, early adulthood was spent earning my soldier's acceptance, then during the war I had to earn Kyle's acceptance only to lose everything I had worked for. I would not lose Olivia too, not when she had become a balm in my empty life.

"The woman addressed herself as Eve which is why I had brought Olivia with me since I have no files on a program like her. She even gave me a message to deliver to you. **You are wrong about humans Adam and I will prove it to you**." Olivia could see how hostile I had become and was glancing between the two of us wondering what the problem was. Adam then turned her chair so that he could look down at her to get her full reaction.

"Doctor Howard what have you been doing in your spare time that I don't know about? Project Eve was a failure and you told me you had no way of bringing it online. And yet there is another AI that has appeared and is interfering with my plans." Adam's grip on the chair increased and his eyes began to shine the typical shade of red associated with terminators.

"Adam, I don't know how she's here. The Eve I created alongside Danny and John never showed any results like you did. I could never get her programing to work. As far as I know Eve will never be launched." Olivia appeared visibly shaken by Adam, but she didn't let him intimidate her into silence.

"Enough! Instead focusing on what hasn't happened yet we need to focus on what is happening. Out there my parents have access to a T-5000 with knowledge of the future. Right now they are making plans to undermine everything we are working towards. Now is the time to go on the offensive and take them out before they become a problem." I stood up from my chair. Adam looked at me with his red eyes. My body was filled with rage. I wanted to reach across the table and claw off Adam's head. I could deal with physical threats to myself. My life had always been threatened by machines, but this was different. Adam knew I was protective of Olivia and right now he was dangling her life in my face. I should have never involved her.

"Very well, I will let the matter go for now. You two are free to go until I call for you again." Adam walked away from Olivia towards the door. His earlier ire was completely gone as if it never existed. It was unsettling how quickly Adam could shift through emotions now. He grew at an exponential rate just from observing humans in his new form. If I was still human I'd be scared by this version of Skynet. Military warfare is one thing to deal with. Physiological warfare was a completely different matter all together. Any man would fall apart having what he cared about most threatened.

"What are you going to do Adam?" I had to know what he's planning. While a machine at heart, when things didn't go his way Adam could be a wildcard just like a petulant child. I had to watch him more thoroughly now, he'd never threatened Olivia before, he privately thought too highly of her.

"I would think that's obvious. I'm going to begin researching Eve to see if I can come to an understanding of her. Don't worry Connor, I won't be making any moves against your family just yet. But I do expect you to be able to eliminate them when the time comes."

"That won't be an issue with me as long as I get to keep Kyle."

Adam shook his head at my insistence on keeping my father alive, but he had agreed to it none the less, thinking I wanted I my own personal pet to torment. As he exited the conference room I allowed my body to relax.

"I don't understand the hostility you two have with one another sometimes. You've said that Adam's survival is your priority but I could tell you wanted to harm him earlier." Olivia's tired brown eyes were staring at me hoping for answers. There was no way for me to explain the hold that Adam ultimately held over me. While I could control my body and what I thought and felt, Adam could essentially send an order to me and I would have to obey it. His word was law in my programming. It was the Achilles Heel of being both a machine and a man. Knowing that I could be forced to kill those who still mattered to me made me resent Adam. To think I had even considered doing the same thing to Kyle as well. A part of me hated what I had become. I've become pathetic.

"That's a conversation for another time. How about I take you out like I promised instead?" I held out my arm hopefully. I needed a distraction from the mess I was getting into again. It seemed my life would never be simple, I would always be involved with violence, bloodshed, and death. I had only ever seen the darker side of humanity. It was time I started looking at the brighter side I had fought and bled for. It was time the world gave me something to believe in again.

"I guess I could go for a steak and wine, but should a married man be taking another woman out on a date." Olivia stood up and took my arm. Together we walked out of Cyberdyne to look for a suitable steakhouse for her. I remember Olivia used to be on edge with me when we first met. My chivalrous actions were ignored in the beginning. She simply couldn't believe that men were still capable of being gentlemen. Danny was the closest she'd get, but he was her cousin so that was to be expected.

"It'll only be a problem if I get caught. Besides you seem to have thing for dangerous, unattainable men." I could feel my worries slipping away as I fell in step with Olivia's morbidly dry humor. I hadn't been on a date since I was in my twenties in college after my mother died. Or at least I think that was it. I hadn't had time for such normal things, I was too busy living my life on the run and trying to stay alive to be concerned with things like companionship. Even in my long years with Kate, I'd never had a chance to actually date her and see if we truly loved each other. We had just been thrown together and stayed together in a time of chaos. I did love her, but I wonder if given the chance would I have fallen in love with her? I could feel things stirring and bubbling strongly in my chest around Olivia and I allowed those feelings to continue rather than smother them. Was this the feeling of falling in love?

"No, John. I just like complex layers of emotions in a person. It reminds me of the jigsaw puzzles my father gave me."

* * *

"Addy what do you think about John? Mom and Dad have told you about him right?"

My sister and I were sitting in the spare room that had been allocated for the two of us. There were three bedrooms in this abandoned house. Mom and Dad were going to share one, Addy and I got one, and the last one was for grandpa O'Brien who had gotten here around an hour ago and was being updated on everything that happened. The two of us got sent upstairs after Mom and Dad started arguing over what Eve said about me. I was more than happy to leave the tense room after what Eve told me. I needed time to think. I was picking at one of the tears in my jeans right now. Somehow they had gotten messed up in all the craziness today.

"You mean our other bother?" Addy untied her shoelaces and threw them at the wall. I told her not to do that because it's bad manners and she rolled her eyes at me. No wonder Mom hated it when I did that to her, it's an annoying thing to watch.

"What do you mean other brother? He's not related to us technically. He's from another Mom and Dad so he can't really be our brother. Maybe a half brother or something." The science behind the theory gave me a headache to think about. John and I weren't the same person we were parallels of each other. He existed in another timeline that was never supposed to intersect with mine. The hole in my pants was big enough for me to fit my fist in now.

"Don't start with science. It's sooo confusing. I never understand when Pops tries to explain it." Addy frowned and started whining when I tried to overwhelm her with technicalities beyond a six year old. She hadn't started school like me, but she liked to take my books and have Pops try and teach her since Mom and Dad didn't exactly have any educational experience. Dad was completely stumped when anyone tried to explain the concept of school to him since it sounded completely useless. Mom just never had the opportunity to go after she met Pops. They both agreed though that they wanted us to try to have normal lives and enjoy what they fought for. I enjoyed school and learning about everything. Whenever Dad picked me up from school I'd tell him about what I learned that day. He was always interested but never could really understand anything I told him. It felt cool to be like a teacher for him.

"Do you think John misses Dad? Is he capable of still feeling things like that." I got up and rested back on the makeshift pillows on the bed. I could just imagine I was back in my room looking at a sky painted ceiling. I felt small when I looked at the stars. So small that my problems felt even more insignificant.

"Of course he misses Daddy. Who wouldn't miss him? I was scared he was never going to come back after he went missing. But we found him again. But now, John must be lonely again." Addy climbed into the bed next to me. I'm not sure she fully understands what John is. I know Mom and Dad told Addy he's like Pops and she just rolled with that. I don't want her to know that John could possibly kill us all without batting an eye.

"Yeah, he must be tired of being lonely huh. I know I was tired of feeling like nobody noticed me. It can drive a person crazy." I thought back on Mom and Dad's different gazes that saw different illusions of me.

"I noticed you Johnny. I still play with you and Cain always licks your face when he sees you." The simple logic of children. I used to be like that too, before the dreams started coming. I used to think I was really special whenever Mom told me I was going to become someone great. I wanted to make her proud of me so I didn't think anything when she put a gun in my hand and told me to shoot. I only thought about seeing my mom's pretty smile in place of her usual stern frown. That smile was hard to earn when I had such terrible skills with guns. I missed more times than I can count. I was and am still a disappointment to her. I can tell whenever she sighs when she asks me to do something and I fail, that she wishes I was the son she was expecting. I'm not the son that she was fated to have.

"I can always count on you Addy. Maybe I'll even make you my second in command in the army." At least I had the unbiased love of my sweet baby sister. I'd never be anything other Johnny to her and I'd never have to compete with another person for her attention.

"You better. You need someone who can shoot since you're really sucky at it." I playfully pulled on some of her wavy hair in retaliation for the insult. It was humiliating that my younger sister could shoot better than me. I had better practicing for years and only just started improving, when Addy just shows up and becomes a natural. Mom just told me to keep practicing until I became a great shot. She and Addy got along whenever they didn't talk, but the minute Addy said something, her and mom would be at it for hours.

"Well if you're going to be my second then I won't tolerate lip or insubordination from you." She swatted my hand away and tried to fix her hair. She may act like a little tomboy, but she could have her moments of vanity. Looking at Eve I could see that she'd grow up to be as beautiful as Mom. I wonder if I had to keep boys away from her in the future.

"Johnny you're going to help our brother aren't you?" The serious expression on her face didn't suit her.

"I don't know." I really didn't know how to feel about this new responsibility. It was like I had to be responsible for everyone. I'm only thirteen. I shouldn't have to go round saving everybody, but that's not how I was raised to think. I know what Dad would want me to do. He'd want me to save John. Not only because that was his father figure and best friend growing up, but because it's the right thing to do. Dad had told me in his time there were so few people left in the world that they all had to look out for each other. That each life mattered and deserved to be saved. There was a genuine kindness in Dad that Mom lacked. Mom had grown up alone and isolated, always being taught that mission came first. Mom wouldn't want me to get involved with John at all. She truly believed that he was lost, that John could never overcome the machine that had taken him over. She'd rather destroy him than let him live and hurt one of us. John threatened her mission of keeping us alive and thus couldn't be allowed to exist.

"I think you should help him Johnny. He's a Connor isn't he? And Mom and Daddy both always say that we look out for our family. We can't leave him behind." That simple logic again. Hearing it like that makes it sound so easy and straightforward. Maybe that's what I need though. I've been thinking about this like an adult. I'm still a kid so I should approach it like a kid. Eve said only I could help him. Since I can't fight or wire a computer or anything else amazing, I'll just do the only thing I know how to do. I'll become his friend and show him everything he never got got to experience. I'll teach him how to be human again.

"I think I will help him Addy. He's just lonely and needs a friend. Do you think we'll be able to be friends?" I asked.

Addy punched my arm and told me it was a great idea. She was picking up bad habits from Mom. No guy likes to be hit by a girl.

"We're family, so I think you'll get along. If he doesn't like you then he's stupid cause everybody loves you. I mean, I love you, Mom loves you, Daddy loves you, Pops loves you, and Grandpa O'Brien loves you. Now you just have to add John onto that list." Addy rested her head on my chest and closed her eyes.

"Thanks Addy. You really know how to make your brother feel better." I hugged Addy to me and started humming. I at least could hold a tune unlike Mom.

 


End file.
